Wednesday, 30 April 2008

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

One man's lonely struggle to get justice for ugly people

Gonzalo Otalora
Gonzalo Otalora shows his younger self. Photograph: Juana Ghersa
While a few leftwing dinosaurs here busy themselves with the plight of the low-waged whose tax bills are about to rocket under the new 20% starting rate, an Argentine writer has been applying himself to wider questions of social injustice. Gonzalo Otalora has written a book entitled ¡Feo! (Ugly!), which calls for the taxation of good-looking people to counteract the natural advantages they have over munters. "Countless studies show that ... it's easier for them to find jobs; they're paid more and find partners more easily," he says. The "manifiesto del feosexual" also calls for the levy to be donated to the ugly, and for photo requirements on job applications and airbrushing in magazines to be outlawed.

As you may possibly have already suspected, the genesis of Mr Otalora's tome lies in his years as a pallid, bespectacled, bepustuled youth in Buenos Aires, where he stood out like a sore, myopic thumb amid his buff compatriots and - reading entre los versos - found it very difficult to find someone to have sex with him as often as he would have liked. Some men would simply have retired, defeated - or moved to Britain - but Otalora used his experiences to formulate his radical policy of redistributive justice for the greater good.

¡Feo! is already a bestseller in Argentina, but despite Otalora's urging to change the law, president Cristina Kirchner has as yet given no sign of acquiescence - possibly because it could hit the famously glamorous ruler in her own pocket.

In Britain, of course, we would have less of a political hurdle to overcome, as our sturdy leader has been bred for stomping around the grounds of a manse in Kirkcaldy rather than insinuating himself round the luscious forms of sultry tango dancers. And it would find ready acceptance amongst the populace at large, though it might need to be adapted to our own cultural specifics. We could either tax all celebrities or have a 24-hour-a-day reality show in which every member of society is assessed as taxably hot or not by a panel of vituperative judges. Rebates, in fairness, to be made available to late bloomers.

Courtesy of my learned bloggy friend in Poland- Shaunj and The Guardian


Queen Goob April 30, 2008 2:54 pm  

Well....he does have a point....he's an ugly bastard! Wonder if he’s found someone to have sex with him yet (other than himself.)

Quickroute April 30, 2008 8:24 pm  

Queen of Goob: Agreed - I sure he knows Pam and her 5 sisters fairly well by now!

Shaunj May 01, 2008 6:05 am  

you people are horrible. Leave the poor guy alone or give him some money!

Nick May 01, 2008 8:27 am  

Yeah, I'm with Shaun against you nasties. Being not exactly Johnny Depp myself, a beauty tax given to the more aesthetically-challenged sounds excellent. But my question is how would you decide the boundary between beautiful and not quite beautiful? An entire courthouse would be kept busy adjudicating on the borderline cases. Also, there might be a boom in reverse plastic surgery making the beautiful plainer so they could qualify for all the dosh. Great idea though.

Quickroute May 01, 2008 10:54 am  

Nick: Fair point - There would have to be some sort of judging panel and you would be assessed every 5 years or so on a scale of 1 to 10 - sort of like renewing your passport.

Nick May 01, 2008 11:43 am  

In that case I guess everyone would be looking forward to getting older and uglier. And picking up their ugly benefit on top of a pension!

Quickroute May 01, 2008 8:18 pm  

Nick: That makes sense - It´s bad enough to grow old but a little compensation for sagging breasts, wrinkles, baldness etc is actally a splendid idea!

Baino May 02, 2008 2:12 pm  

Sagging breasts! Excellent then I am well due for compensation . . .pay me now!

VE May 02, 2008 4:02 pm  

I volunteer to help with the female beauty judging. I could be an in the field beauty auditor...yeah, that's it!

Old Knudsen May 03, 2008 4:46 am  

He should go to the UK, he'd be a sex symbol, the next Robson Greene or Inspector Morse. I'm no giving my money to any of yous.

Quickroute May 05, 2008 12:21 pm  

VE: OK - your all signed up - go out and get me 10 of your hottest and I´ll see if you´re on the ball!

Old Knudsen: With your ugly mug you´re going to be getting a lot of money from this!

Quickroute May 05, 2008 12:28 pm  

Baino: Sagging breasts - I´m afraid I have those too - I should get extra money being a dude n´all!

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