Thursday, 5 May 2011

Ireland for Dummies - Lessons #1 to 10

Ireland for Dummies - lesson #1: 'Culchies' are people from the rural areas aka NOT Dublin whereas 'Jackeens' are from the 'Big Smoke' aka Dublin. They tend not to like each other unless Ireland are playing England in any sport at which point they form an alliance which typically lasts until last orders in the pub.

Irish for Dummies - Lesson #2: Drink Beer {repeat as necessary}

Irish for Dummies - Lesson #3: Not all Irish people have red hair. We blame Vikings for that.

Irish for Dummies - Lesson #4: It's a long way to Tipperary unless you happen to live in Tipperary in which case it's a long way from anywhere

Ireland for Dummies - lesson #5: If offered a cup of tea, it's pointless to refuse but beware as tea is a gateway refreshment which leads to biscuits and sandwiches and cake. You have been warned.

Ireland for Dummies - lesson #6: Vitamin 'G' = Guinness = Good for you..

Ireland for Dummies - lesson #7: When you give someone directions in Ireland you MUST include at least one pub e.g. To reach the Post Office - "Go to the end of the street and take a left at Kitty O'Shea's then go past the Blarney Stone and you'll see the Post Office opposite the Stags Head.

Ireland for Dummies - lesson #8: Saint Patrick was an impostor. The patron saint of Ireland is actually Father Ted

Ireland for Dummies - lesson #9: Do not take offence when Irish people use words like 'feck' and 'shite'. We often use these as terms of endearment.

Ireland for Dummies - Lesson #10: Don't be too excited when your Irish friend invites you for a 7 course meal. It's just a 6 pack of beer + a pack of crisps (potato chips)

Click the pic (above) for more.....

Tags: ..Irish Ireland for Dummies..
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6 comments:

nick May 05, 2011 11:25 am  

Funny, by the time I'd got past Kitty O'Shea's and the Stags Head, I could see two post offices. So which is the one I want?

Quickroute May 05, 2011 1:24 pm  

@ Nick: Go back to the Stags Head and stay until you can see three post offices then pick the one in the middle

Baino May 06, 2011 5:13 am  

Yer a funny fucker. I navigate via pubs as well. Sad init

Quickroute May 06, 2011 10:32 am  

@ Baino: Pubs are like bright beacons of light beckoning us to enter like a moth to a flame or flies to sh!t..

alyssa May 07, 2011 4:56 pm  

Your a wise man or a wise arse!

Elizabeth May 08, 2011 1:57 am  

Some set of lessons there Paddy

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