Show me the way to Amarillo

Photo: North is East

I had a bit of a shock recently when I realized my whole geographical perception of Buenos Aires has been a bit skewed...well completely arse backwards actually. I had bought a big map of the city when I arrived 6 months ago, which showed the barrios (neighbourhoods) and streets. Unfortunately, I only realized a few days ago, it has North pointing right i.e. North is actually East on the map. Now I ask you, what gobshite, would design a map with North pointing East?

I went for a wander last week to walk off an extra large Chivito, which simply put is a huge Uruguayan steak sandwich and then some. Anyways, because I was using the mental arse backwards map in my head, I got completely lost and four hours later, I was still wandering round like a missionary in Iraq and it was hotter than hell so I was sweating something fierce.

This is nothing new to me however, as I have that extra stubborn County Westmeath gene inherited from me Da (not that I blame him, apparently it's been in the family for generations or possibly since Adam and Eve. They were from Mullingar according to some biblical historians or was that the Devil himself?, I can never remember. Anyway this defective gene prohibits asking directions for fear of being ridiculed, or worse, sent to the fiery depths of hell for sheer ignorance. Poor ol' Adam was fecked outta the garden of Eden for eating a miserable ol' apple and we all know it was that conniving hussy Eve that led him on, so there's no way I'm asking directions in a city I lived for six months.

Now I could have jumped in a taxi or God forbid, actually asked someone the way, but no, no, no, a wandering I a went. I did make it back home eventually, having walked the four corners of the city. It wasn't a trip completely in vain, as I happened upon some beautiful neighbourhoods and far flung places that I otherwise would never have seen, albeit I still haven't a clue where they are now. Shame, I didn't have the camera though. Ah well sure, they say life's an adventure, but I'd prefer an adventure on a wheels next time.