I have tried various exercise routines over the years but they rarely last more than a week. I have joined a gym on two separate occasions. In both instances, I went for a week and then never returned to the gym but kept paying the monthly fee for at least six months before I finally admitted defeat.
I bought a mountain bike once and cycled a few times at weekends but was nearly run off the road several times so that was the end of that adventure. The bike never came within 100kms of a mountain so perhaps I should have bought a city bike?
I have tried jogging but I suffered from third degree nipple chaffing and even lubing up my man tits didn't solve the problem. There's also something that just doesn't seem right about putting Vaseline on my nipples.
My latest attempt is walking. Not just your average walking mind you, but a serious 2.5 hour brisk walk around the ecological park near here. It's starting to get hot here as we approach summer, so I end up lathered in sweat like a pair of Anna Kournikovas panties after a 3 set marathon with a tie breaker finale thrown in for good measure.
Speaking of panties, with all this walking, I am now developing a serious case of crotch chaffing. Perhaps I shouldn't have bought Anna's panties on eBay after all.
Why is it exercise seems to be actually bad for your health?
Tags: ..anna kournikova panties, tennis, nipple chaffing, crotch chaffing, exercise,..
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I've done the same thing with gym memberships...
ReplyDeleteAre they like the used Alyson Hannigan panties I bought?
ReplyDeletestart walking like John Wayne did or use Vaseline, that'll stop when ya lose the weight, keep it up mate!
ReplyDeleteClearly you should have bought Thriftypants and had a Brasilian!
ReplyDeleteSeriously though I'm with you! Treadmilling is so boring that I have to have a drink afterwards and all the 300 calories I've just burned go straight back on!
Did you not try a bra....
ReplyDeleteJenny has always maintained exercise is bad for you. All those people who've died of heart attacks while jogging, fallen off mountains etc. I must say I've never done more than hill-walking. Gyms? Jogging? Weightlifting? Not for me, too boring, too energetic. But then I'm lucky enough to be habitually thin.
ReplyDelete@ Megan: I think a lot of people keep the gym membership card in the hope they may return
ReplyDelete@ Maxi: Was that the one time back in band camp?
@ Roy: Get off your horse and drink your milk cowboy - I'll give it a shot
@ Baino: That's my problem right now I come home parched and drink a litre of beer
@ Conortje: I considered it but the thought of being caught wearing womens underwear and a bra was a bit too much
@ Nick: You're lucky - perhaps you have a tapeworm - where can you buy those anyway?
Nipple chafing. Most running put tape over them when they run. You could add tassles just for fun! ha ha
ReplyDeleteAnd I want to come back as Anna's panties in my next life...
@VE: Tassles on my nips - yes I can see photos doing the rounds on the internet now
ReplyDeleteDusting your nether-regions with corn starch works wonders for chafing.
ReplyDeleteI had a gym membership for 8 months before I actually went to the facility. I like to go but am too busy with work.
Maybe a trip to Thailand for some "diet" pills?
~giggling~ does it make me a total freak that the idea of you putting vaseline on your nipps was HOT? :P
ReplyDeleteTell me if exercise isn't painful! I started going to a gym a few weeks back and now I'm kind of regretting it. I've never been the gym type and now I'm thinking of asking my doctor if this was a good idea.
ReplyDeleteVaseline on the nips ruins t-shirts. Trust me I know.
ReplyDelete@Stevo: don't they use that for cooking too?
ReplyDelete@Lakota: No not at all - I'll send you a photo - that;ll make me a freak
@L o N: Don't trust doctors either - ask yourself
@Broke: Were you lubing your nips or is this story X rated?
I am jogging everyday with my doggie Leo, he will call me every same time of the day, So I can't give up this game easily. :)
ReplyDelete@ iWalk: i wish I had a four legged friend to push me a litle harder - I'll settle for a 2 legged one - actually even a goldfish!
ReplyDeleteI involve walking with something I like, such as walking to the bar or walking to the beer store. But I guess that doesn't work since you've a 24h delivery service.
ReplyDeleteAt least it's just chaffing in BsAs. Running in Taipei is seriously bad for one's health. You're liable to get run over by a scooter.
I don't like the word "panties."
ReplyDeleteIt sounds pervy.
(Not that I think you are pervy.)
@ TCL: It's just like I said - being healthy is bad for you
ReplyDelete@ Annie: Anna's undergarments - happy now?
Cycling shorts avoid the chafage. Mmmmmmmmm Anna, she really batters my sausage.
ReplyDelete@Thrifty: you should see the photos I didn't/couldn't put up there without getting in trouble anyways
ReplyDeleteSend........Links.......Now!
ReplyDelete@ Thrifty: Will do - later - promise
ReplyDeleteI have been experiencing the same midriff problem as of late.
ReplyDelete