Inscrutable Intention (Ray B, RIP!)

We did a day trip out to San Antonio de Areco today, which is gaucho country and it was nice to get out of the concrete jungle for a while. It was an early start and we're back home now but still no TV as it takes an age to get connected here.  I've got one of my favs - 'Fist Full of Dollars' playing on the DVD.

With gauchos and cowboys, my mind wandered to my old friend Ray who I met in Australia. A group of us would head out on the plains of western Sydney at weekends.  The ranch owner would ask Ray which horse he wanted and he would casually reply, "What do you recommend?" - "How about Bishop?" said the ranch owner.  Bishop was a wild feisty horse that required a very experienced handler. "Sure, why not!" Ray would respond and somehow he would control the horse like it was a dead beat donkey.

Because Ray knew the owner, we got to take the horses out by ourselves (no strict supervision like the others) and it wouldn't be long before a trot became canter which became a gallop and the adrenalin was pumping as every nerve in your body was focused on controlling the beast beneath.  All thoughts of work, stress, troubles faded away.  For a few fleeting moments you were one with the horse.  I can honestly say I never felt more alive.  Probably sounds like complete bollocks but it was true.  It was true escapism without the typical vices.  I absolutely loved it!!!

Afterwards, we'd head back to Rays house where his wife Marls (a character in her own right) would prepare a spread of cheese and wine and we would chat and laugh as the sun went down.  Often, after a few too many, Ray would direct us to the garage for an impromptu music video where we were the stars. It was like karaoke with video evidence to be replayed again and again.  Sometimes we stayed over with a sore head and ended up horse riding the next day aswell where upon the vicious but brilliant circle continued.  Other evenings we'd just sit and chat in the garage.  It had bails of hay to park your arse on and lots of interesting props and paintings.

Ray was very well read and had a "fuck the establishment" attitude that was intriguing and refreshing.  He just didn't like to play by societies laid down rules.  He was a genuine rebel if ever there was one.

One night after a bottle of wine and a quiet chat between the two of us, Ray played an audio tape of Joseph Conrads - The Heart of Darkness.  There is a line that goes - "It was the stillness of an implacable force brooding over an inscrutable intention." He rewound it and replayed it 6 times.  "That's a fucking amazingly descriptive sentence - hard to beat that!" - said Ray. I'd never really been blown away by music or writing but this line really struck a chord with me too. So much detail and emotion described in one sentence.

I was back in Ireland about 6 months later when I got a phone call on Christmas morning. 

"He passed away this morning" -  said the tearfull voice the other end of the phone.

I knew he'd had stomach cancer for a year and didn't have long left.  It was inevitable, but even though I was expecting the bad news, I was devastated. It was the shitiest Christmas / new years after that.

"It was the stillness of an implacable force brooding over an inscrutable intention."

To: Ray - Gone but not forgotten

Tags: San Antonio de Areco, Fist Full of Dollars, Joseph Conrads The Heart of Darkness, Inscrutable bIntention

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