Wednesday, 23 April 2008

Say It - Don't Spray It!

I've just spent the last ten minutes picking grains of rice out of my laptop keyboard, off my computer screen, the table, the floor and even the wall 2 meters away. Why that sounds strange? - I hear you say - Damn right! - It is strange!, so let me elaborate.

I went to a friends civil ceremony wedding today and although it's customary to throw rice after yer hitched here, that had nought to do with this story. The ceremony happened to be near Barrio Chino (Chinatown). So after the festivities, I went to the Chinese supermarket and picked up some jasmine tea, soy sauce, wasabi and some sushi salmon rolls.
I have a fairly high tolerance to spicy food and wasabi (japanese green spicy mustard for you non sushi heathens). The hotter the better - XXX Vindaloo - bring it on ya wussies!

So I chopped up the sushi roll and poured some soy sauce with a hefty dose of wasabi mixed into a small dipping bowl. After 3 or 4 portions, I wasn't getting the burn/sweat satisfaction I wanted. I like the eyes to water and the nose to burn with wasabi, so I upped the dosage or kicked it up a notch if you know what I mean!.

Finally there was some fairly good eye watering, nose burning sensations going on, so I had reached wasabi nirvana. I soaked the second last piece of sushi roll for a good 10 seconds both sides and popped it in my gob. Chew, chew, mmmmmMM - yummy!.....eyes water, nose burns.....ARGH! Nose on FIRE! ....ok...relax....relax... breathe thru your mouth....ARGH!....Mouth on FIRE!...HELP! ....can't breathe!....try and breathe thru nose again.....OUCH!...ALL AIR PASSAGES ON FIRE! - DANGER!- DANGER!- WARNING! - WARNING! - I'm MELTING!....I cannae take anymore Cap'n! - EJECT - EJECT!!!! - With that, I let fly, with full force, with whatever was in my mouth and sprayed whatever happened to be in the line of fire. Hence my computer was a rice ridden mess. I ran to the kitchen, eyes streaming, throat burning, nose in pain and dowsed the inferno with water!
I reckon either I got dodgy wasabi or didn't mix it right with the soy sauce - word of advice - BEWARE the fiery green paste monster!

+ =


8 comments:

ShaunJ,  April 24, 2008 3:05 pm  

I'm a complete chillie junkie myself-the more pain the better. had a near death experience with a pickled habanero in mexico city once. Never get cocky with these boys as each one is different and must be respected as such- as I found out to the comedic delight of the entire cantina. Death was welcoming.

Quickroute April 24, 2008 4:31 pm  

Shaunj: lol - Would luv to have been there to see that! i've had to excuse myself a few times in indian restaurants to wipe the sweat away to put cold water on my face!

Baino April 24, 2008 4:40 pm  

Hahah . . .I love spicy food but have suffered the Indian ring of fire. If you don't sweat beneath your eyes it isn't hot enough. Respect the Wasabi. You bought sushi in Chinatown? Interesting. I'll send you some rats to help clean up the mess! DrummerBoy once ate a jalapeno for a $50 bet . . I thought he was going to lose his eyeballs!

Quickroute April 24, 2008 5:24 pm  

Baino: I only bought the sushi rolls - wouldn't trust them with 'real' sushi. Thanks but I'll pass on the rats!

VE April 25, 2008 4:02 pm  

Of course, you still have the ending effect to look forward to now; hopefully it passes quickly!

Quickroute April 25, 2008 5:59 pm  

VE:Although I'm Irish, green poo is not something I look forward to, much less burn sensation green poo!

Jack April 27, 2008 5:19 pm  

hey enda- i'm enjoying the blog and your antics! as usual you're a complete nutter. reminded of our sushi lunches back in nyc. you always were the wasabi/chili sauce hog.
all the best. hello to claudia.
-jack

Quickroute April 27, 2008 5:42 pm  

Jack: Great to hear from you! - I reckon with your razor sharp wit, you'd be good at this bloggy thing too! All the best!

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