Worlds Cheapest Michelin Star Restaurant - Tim Ho Wan Dim Sum, Hong Kong

Are you a bit of a cheap skate? Tired of paying 'bling-bling' to wine and dine your 'Hoochie Mama' in Hong Kong, just so you can get a bit of nookie tonight? You could get professional 'takeout' in the Wan Chai red light district for the price of an appetiser in some restaurants here.  Well - GOOD NEWS, my friend as I have got the perfect place for you!

Tell your 'Gold Digger' Hoochie Mama you are bringing her to a 'Michelin Star' restaurant' and watch as she salivates about champagne and caviar and visualizes pretentious twats in Armani and Gucci.  Before you arrive, tell her she can have anything on the menu and double or triple  portions if she so desires. This might be the opportune moment to grab that piece of 'quickie' nookie pronto as although the queue / line is long and the place is actually and REALLY rated a Michelin Star restaurant you will be paying an average price per dish of just u$d1.30 and the most expensive dish is u$d5 and a 'bottle of bubbly' is in fact just fizzy water!




Full article and link below

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Article Link

A HOLE-IN-THE-WALL canteen in Hong Kong that offers dishes for less than $1.50 has become the world's cheapest Michelin-starred restaurant.

Tim Ho Wan, which means Add Good Luck, can seat only 20 people in its steamy dining room where battered bamboo baskets of dim sum sell for as little as $1.42.

In other Michelin-ranked restaurants a meal can cost more than $400.

Michelin guide director Jean-Luc Naret said it was the ''most affordable starred restaurant in the world''.

The star ratings, which range from one star to three, are a rare honour in the restaurant trade, with only a few hundred in the world deemed good enough.

Tim Ho Wan is headed by Mak Pui Gor, the former dim sum chef at Hong Kong's Four Seasons Hotel, where he worked at its three-starred restaurant Lung King Heen.

During the economic crisis, Mr Mak branched out on his own to offer his dishes at bargain prices.

His most expensive dish, a plate of noodles, costs the equivalent of about $5.40, and he sells about 750 of his signature crispy pork buns each day.

At lunchtimes, diners can expect queues of up to an hour on the street outside the canteen.

''Since the news broke, we've been really very busy,'' said a waitress. ''We really are very cheap, but I don't think we are planning to raise our prices.''

Cheers to cuz Brendan for passing the link along

Tags: ..Worlds Cheapest Michelin Star Restaurant - Tim Ho Wan Dim Sum, Hong Kong..

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Cost of Living in Buenos Aires, Argentina

UPDATED JANUARY 2013

People are always asking me "What's the cost of living over there?" - The answer depends on whether you're living 'La Vida Loca' expat life or trying to blend in as a local or something in between. Our goal coming down here was to use BA as a base from which to travel and that has worked out very well. Here are my observations on cost of living here. If you disagree pls let me know and if you have other ideas or questions on prices, post a comment here (anonymous if you like) and I'll do my best to find out.

Note: According to the government here, inflation is running at below 10% but independent estimates calculate it is more than 30%

Use the scroll bars below to see the entire list or click here

UPDATED JANUARY 2013

Disagree with prices? Getting a better price? Want to know the price of something else?
Let me know please! - I will continue to update this with updated FX rates and reader feedback.

Tags: ..Cost of Living in Argentina, Expat Cost of living Buenos aires Argentina 2009 , how much money do I need?, what does it cost to live?, cost of living, standard of living index,Cost of living Argentina?, Cost of living Buenos Aires?..

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Fernet Branca and Coke

I had a bit of a late one last night as my sister-in-law and some friends threw a joint party. OK, I can see you now envisioning cigarette papers and a pungent recogniseable smokey aroma but alas no, it was "joint" as in collective, for their 30th birthdays which are in the same week.

They hired out a salon and a DJ, as is common here and it was BYOB so I brought some wine. I ended up switching to what many consider to be the national drink here called Fernet which is typically mixed with coke (as in cola) .

Fernet is produced in Italy and was originally sold as a medicine. It is still marketed as containing 40 herbs and spices (more than KFC?) including myrrh, chamomile, cardamom, aloe, saffron and rhubarb? (huh? ....rhubarb is neither a herb or a spice?)

Fernet Branca

It has a distinctly bitter taste and the viscosity and colour of cough syrup but considering it's home remedy and medicinal properties include the treatment of menstrual and gastrointestinal discomfort, cholera and hangovers, sure it must be good for ya!

As with most nocturnal events here the party didn't start until late (midnight) and when we were going home it was into the morning light at 6:30am - Argh!

Needless to say I have been full of energy today since I crawled from the bed to the couch at the crack of mid afternoon. I must go out now and get myself something for a detox. Ah! - I know. A bottle of Fernet should do the trick. Thus an endless vicious cycle continues!

Tags: ..Fernet Branca and Coke, Coca Cola, hangover cure..

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Oktoberfest Argentina

Oktoberfest in Villa General Belgrano, Córdoba, Argentina

Every year in October the small town of Villa General Belgrano goes a little 'extra krout'. Many of the descendants of the town are of German origin and some still speak German. Argentina is not renowned for it's beer. The national brand of Quilmes is simply quite awful but there are some great micro brewers in the area that are a welcome exception to the rule.

This beerfest has been going since 1964 and now the town has a dedicated park to house the beerfest each year. The official party starts with a parade and gets going at noon each day making its way to the park enclosure. They have traditional bands and German food and of course beer and this continues until midnight. The after party includes salsa / cumbia music and of course more beer until the wee hours! Highly recommended - Enjoy the pics!

Tags: ..Oktoberfest Buenos Aires, Oktoberfest Argentina,Villa General Belgrano in Córdoba, beer, party..

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Virtual Kidnapping and Extortion in Argentina

True story - We were having dinner at my in-laws yesterday who had just returned from vacation in Brazil.

In the middle of dinner the phone rang.

My father-in-law (Osvaldo) picked up the phone, but the line was scratchy and almost inaudible.

Osvaldo: - Unable to hear properly thinks it might be his son who lives in Paraguay - "Is that you Pablo?"

Caller: - "Something bad has happened - Someone close to you"

Osvaldo: - "What?"

Caller: - "They're hurt bad"

Osvaldo: - "Who?"

Caller: - "It's uh.....Pablo - he's hurt"

Osvaldo: - "Adios - hincha pelotta" as he hangs up the phone, realising this is a scam.

We just experienced first hand a fairly common occurrence here - virtual extortion

Pablo was fine and enjoying his dinner in Paraguay.  Osvaldo had unwittingly revealed the name 'Pablo' and now the caller could use that to invent any story he liked.  Had the call continued, most likely he would have been asked to deliver money at a drop off point if he wanted to see his son again.

There other scam is from a caller who wants the victim to buy phone cards and read off the numbers if they want to see their loved one again. An unusual ransom one might think. The caller is in prison and exploits uncertainty, fear and panic in people. They have practiced and honed their skills overt time and can get the victim to volunteer names. They have recordings of people screaming to add authenticity. A surprisingly large number of people are duped. The scam is said to have originated in Mexico where real kidnappings are common place but is now widespread. So before you part with your cash - try calling the 'missing' person. Chances are they're oblivious to their supposed plight.  We live in a virtual world.

Tags: Virtual Kidnapping, virtual reality, Extortion, Buenos Aires, Argentina, scams, dangers, annoyances, crime, tips, beware,

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TV or not TV

We finally got connected to cable TV a few days ago which took 6 weeks, 23 phone calls, 3 emails and 1 fax. An almost comical series of events, too frustrating to bother mentioning here.  We now have 80 channels but in reality, very, very little of interest. I am seriously tempted to cancel it but that would probably take another 6 weeks and god knows how many other forms of communication and I'm just not sure I have it in me just now. 

I used to have a PVR (TIVO) called Replay TV but alas no more. I have resorted to automatically downloading the TV programs I like. Sure, I know it's not totally legit but I now wake up to the latest episodes of Saturday Night Live, The Daily Show, Family Guy and even Eastenders.

If you fancy trying it out yourself click the +/- below for instructions as seen on CNET

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Step 1: Download and install the Miro media player, which is available for Linux, Mac and Windows.

Step 2: Locate an RSS feed for a TV show you want to watch. One fantastic source of these is the website tvRSS.net

or another UK based one is UKNova

Navigate through the list of TV shows on the tvRSS website, and find a desired show.

Screenshot of tvRSS website

(Credit: tvRSS.net)

On the web-page for the show, right click on the link to the RSS feed of that show, and copy the URL location.

Screenshot of tvRSS website

(Credit: tvRSS.net)

Step 3: Open up Miro, and go to the Channels menu, and select Add Channel. The RSS address that was copied previously should already be displayed. If it's not, paste it.

Screenshot of Miro media player

(Credit: Miro)

Miro should now automatically download the latest episode of that show, which it will continue to do every time a new episode appears online.

Screenshot of Miro media player

(Credit: Miro)

For ease of use, a user will probably want to rename the channel to something recognizable. This can be done by going to the Channels menu and selecting Rename.

Screenshot of Miro media player

(Credit: Miro)

By following these three steps, its possible for a user to wake up to their favorite TV shows already downloaded to their computer, waiting to be watched

Update - Instead of Miro which is a little memory intensive I now recommend TED

Update to the update - You don't even need Torrent Episode Downloader if you use uTorrent - see instructions here.

Tags: Multicanal, Fibertel, download tv, cable tv, miro. tvRSS, uknova, torrent, pirate, illegal download

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Football in Argentina

Photo: The Tickets

I got up at 5am last Tuesday and headed for a place called Luna Park which was selling tickets for the World Cup qualifier game of Argentina VS Paraguay in River Plate stadium here in Buenos Aires to be played Saturday Sep 6th. I was relieved that there were only a couple of hundred people ahead in the queue. After waiting about 90 minutes the ticket windows hadn't even opened. It was a strictly first come, first served affair with max of 3 tickets per person. By some sleight of hand or "Hand of God", the 40 and 50 peso tickets had sold out after 5 minutes - all thirty thousand of them!????? Had a hoard of invisible hooligans descended upon the queue? - Alas no - this was Argentinian 'mafia' economics at work. One ticket for the public, 100 for somebody to sell later an an inflated price - Bienvenidos a Argentina!

Photo: The Chicas

We eventually got pretty decent seats (covered) for 170 pesos each. The 'covered' became especially important as it pissed rain here most of this weekend and the temperature dropped to 3 degrees during the game so it was frikkin' freezing! (at least for Argentina)

About 7 thousand Paraguayans showed up and in some ways reminded me of the Irish as although they were out numbered ten to one by the home crowd, they made themselves heard and even upstaged the Argentinians with their chants and songs. There was a lot of middle finger sign language being exchanged aswell as reciprocal lyric additions of "puto" and "hijo de puto" (son of a bitch) when the oppostions chants were in full flow.

After an early goal that saw the Argentinian keeper stretchered off, the game eventually finished a draw 1-1 which was a fair result. I'd waited a long time to see a football match here and it didn't disappoint.

Tags: River Plate Stadium, Argentina football, Boca Juniors, River Boca, sport

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Buenos Aires Taxi

Taxis in Buenos Aires have a bad reputation for leading people astray or at least taking the long route. There are many stories of people being scammed and fleeced and locals have a deep distrust of taxi drivers and will generally ask for their destination and challenge the driver as to how he will get to the destination. e.g. I want to go to Avenue XYZ cross street ABC - ok? How are you going to go?...Which avenues?? etc etc and so follows a lengthy discussion as per most Latin interactions. Radio Taxis with a visible telephone number on the car are thought safer than those without.

My experience with taxis from Dublin in the 80's was one of a luxury. If you could manage to get one home on a weekend night you had practically won the lottery so the taxi driver was welcome to do a detour if he/she wanted but was generally keen to move on to the next victim. London cabs are probably the most expensive I have ever experienced and although they train for 'the knowledge' it's just not worth that amount of money.

The taxis here are very plentiful and often out number regular cars on the roads but are generally tiny Renault cars that fit 2 in the back and 1 in the front 'normal' sized people. Four customers are possible but typically an uncomfortable squeeze. Add to that the cobblestone streets, bad suspension on the old cars and general crazy driving and it can be a torture trip.

The fare has gone up 50% in the last year but compared to UK, Ireland, USA is still a bargain. A ten minute trip is approx ten pesos = 1.7 GBP pounds or 2.2 Euros or 3.3 $USD and a tip is not customary here, in fact if the fare comes to 10.20 pesos the driver lets you off for 10 even.

What's it like in your neck of the woods?

Tags: Buenos Aires Taxi, Irish taxi, London taxi, New york taxi

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Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Question: How do I get to the wizard of Oz?
Answer: Different approach depending on culture and heritage.

Directions as given by a Dubliner: Keep going straight now until you get to O'Neill's pub, then make a left and keep going until you see Biddy Mulligans, make a right, then continue on past the Guinness brewery until you get to the Nags Head. He's in the house on your left beside Dicks Winebar.


Directions as given by Irish country folk: Well now let me see, you go on down this road here now and you'll see a yellow house with a rusty tractor in the garden. Just ignore that now but isn't it a shocking disgrace all the same that tractor is being let go to waste as some people just seem to have more money than sense but anyways after you get to a bridge you'll see a turn off to the left and you should just ignore that too and you keep going straight till the road ends. The wizards house is on your right hand side. I should probably warn you though it's no longer there as it burnt down 3 years ago (insurance fiddle if you ask me!) - Same fella who owns the rusty tractor is to blame!

Directions as given by a resident of Buenos Aires: First of all gringo, you need a map, but be warned that maps of Buenos Aires have North pointing East because, because.......well I'm not really sure why.

North is East?

But anyway, then you go north on Senillosa Street till you get to {"ahem ...you mean west yes?"} ...oh yeah I forgot about the ol' compass arse backways thing for a minute, so yes west to the end and you turn right onto Chaco Street which for no apparent reason becomes Quito Street and then you go 2 blocks and make a left onto the continuation of Senillosa Street. - Huh??? - check the map below?

Grid Zig Zag Maze System (click above to see larger image)

Ah that's right, here in Argentina we like to take a continuous straight street and rename it at any given random spot e.g. Chaco to Quito. Then we like to keep the same name for a street that's not continuous e.g. 'Senillosa' and is in fact a completely different street. It's called the grid zig zag maze system.

Welcome to Buenos Aires! Anybody got GPS?
Is it any wonder people in general and postmen (I suppose they're people too) get lost here?!!!

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Tag: Buenos Aires Map, Directions Buenos Aires,Map of Buenos Aires, how to get around Buenos Aires,Where to go Buenos Aires,

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FREE BEER! - Yes You Heard Right !

I like (actually I love) to go for a quiet pint every now n' then and just stare into the deafening silence and hear the hypnotysing clock on the wall "tick- tock - tick- tock!" There's something therapeutic about it.

When I want to go out for a pint somewhere with some atmosphere, it gets a bit more complicated. For one thing people don't go out here until LATE, VERY LATE! - They eat late, they drink late, they party late. They go to work late! - A city of vampires if ever there was one!

Bars mid week are empty until 11pm so forget about the after work tipple. If your lucky the bar will get some traffic just before midnight.

Clubs don't open at weekends until 1 am and won't be busy until 3am and wrap up somewhere between 7-10am. Siestas are a way of life and one which I've adapted to....zzzzZZZZZZZZZ!

....Where was I? ah yes....

There is an exception however......


From the same person who brought you 24 Hour Alcohol Delivery comes the true story a local bar that is offering the following:

FREE BEER !!!

For Girls : Free beer and free national drinks everyday noon to midnite
For Guys : incredible HAPPY HOUR with free pizza - 3PM-8PM.

Chicas Argentinas
Photos Courtesy of 'El Alamo Bar': Sunday, Monday, Tuesday Night is Bikini Night!

Full Details Here

Shoeless Joes El Alamo Bar

Address: Uruguay 1175 (between Santa Fe & Arenales), Recoleta

Photos of signs courtesy of Buenos Aires Tours

• Free Beer for everybody with lunch.
• Free domestic booze for the ladies until 10pm.

Before I get slapped for being a sexist pig (again) - I am really only doing this as a public service announcement for you thirsty ladies. - SO ENJOY!

Thanks to fellow blogger Julia at Evans Gate for reminding me about this den of inequity.

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AXIS of EVIL!

What was my reward for hours of torture spent bouncing between numerous waiting rooms at the post office? If you are just joining this thread you need to read here and then here first to know what I'm venting about.

As somewhat anticipated, my parcel was a batch of forwarded mail from the UK containing the following:

• 9 bank statements and
• 7 credit card statements
• 1 Annual report publication (199 pages) from a bank (yawn)
• 2 Pension statements from the USA (showing a loss for last quarter)

(despite the fact I signed up for electronic versions only for all of the above!)

• 2 Natwest bank card readers (whatever they are?)
• 8 solicitations for extra credit and balance transfers (how many trees do banks kill every day?)
  

and........ drum roll please.......................

A letter from securemail delivery service in the UK saying that they tried twice to deliver an atm card but I wasn't there to accept it, so I need contact them to arrange to pick it up in person (must show id) - that's going to be easy, NOT! The damn machine swallowed my card here recently so I had ordered a replacement and that was the one thing I really needed!

Now that North Korea is off the list, I'm officially nominating the Post Office all over the world as part of the "AXIS of EVIL!"

Join forces with me now and help spread the word!

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Gone Postal - Past Tense!

....So back I went the following day. If you don't know what I'm talking about you need to start here first. Just to throw some complication into the mix, a friend who had heard about my saga/adventure the previous day, politely asked, if I could enquire about her missing package (a book), sent from her Grandma in Portugal to Buenos Aires back in May, that had never showed up. She had called the post office but got no answer. She had the details (registration #) and was told by the Portugese Post office the package was in the international post office in Buenos Aires. (kill 2 birds with one stone n' all that!)

I like a challenge, so I accepted. Forty minutes by subway and walking, take a number, forty minute wait, show passport as i.d. and I get handed the magic ticket with a magic number, to go to the next room and wait with the 300 people, waiting for the package.

Then I ask about my friends M.I.A. package and am told, low and behold it's here!

• Me:- "Why wasn't it delivered?"
• Rather Hot Postal Working Girl:- "Dunno!"
• Me:- "Why didn't you send a notice to make my friend shlep down to the local sorting office as a tease and then tell them they needed to shlep down to this out of the way office, you know, like you did to me?"
• Rather Hot Postal Working Girl:- "Dunno!"
• Me:- "OK - so what now?"
• Rather Hot Postal Working Girl:- "Hmmm... Well You need to go the next room and wait for your number to be called out for YOUR package!......But you need to be in this room too, so we can advise you about your friends package!"
• Me:- "Talented as I am my Dear, I cannae be in two places at the same time, what do you recommend?"
• Rather Hot Postal Working Girl:- "If I was you I would wait halfway, between this room and the next and just keep your ears open - very open!"
• Me:- "Fair enough, I like a challenge!"

Be careful for you wish for. This was not a digital display with luminous numbers incrementing, there was no visual display what so ever! Only an inaudible version of crazy bingo!

In Spanish - Over a really bad speaker....numero...12??34, 183???, 34???,45???? - NOT EVEN THE SAME SEQUENCE OF NUMBERS??????

Even the locals were stupified..What? Que? Que dice? No entiendo? TOTAL FRIKKIN' chaos ensued! 300 pissed off confused people, wanting to kick some postal ass!

Once your number was called you passed thru a turnstile and then two doors. There was a big sign on the wall - "Don't enter unless your number has been called!"

After an agonising hour of this farce, I stormed in and by a stroke of luck, my number had been called. I picked up my first package and walked past the security guards (without hassle or signing - make note for later on!) and back to the other waiting room for package #2.

After an hour, I heard a scream of "Portugal!"

"That's me!" I said and waited for the package to be handed over but alas NO, this was just the line to get the ticket to go back to the dreaded room with the 300 people and wait your turn!

I picked up the ticket and waited an eternity trying to decipher the inaudible drivel and finally picked up package # 2.

Free, Free Free at last!, I marched out of this hell hole!.... well not exactly.. I got stopped by security because I hadn't signed my packages out, (despite having no trouble the first exit?) so had to return and sign, countersign, initial etc.

NOTE: DON'T POST ME ANYTHING HERE. EVER! NOT EVEN A CHEQUE. JUST WIRE $$$ TO MY ACCOUNT! PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK THERE! PRETTY PLEASE!

So what was in the package that was worth all this shi$ I hear you ask?
No frikkin' idea - I haven't even opened it yet! - See Photo above! - Tune in tomorrow!

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I'm Going POSTAL!

I got a little notice from the post office (Correo Argentina) the other day to let me know they tried to deliver a registered letter but I wasn't home. In actual fact, I never left the house all day so that was a big fat lie. Mr Postman just couldn't be arsed ringing the buzzer. The notice said I had to come and pick up the 'package' from the local sorting office. There was no option to have them redeliver but that's fine I'll go and stretch my legs.

Twenty minutes there, take a number, twenty minute wait, show drivers licence as id, twenty minutes back. The 'package' was in fact a letter from the post office. Hmm... why are the post office sending me registered letters? The letter was a notice from the international sorting office advising me that I have a 'package' to pick up. W.T.F. - Why didn't you just let me know that in the first place!

So I head to the international sorting office downtown. Forty minutes there by subway and walking, take a number, forty minute wait, show drivers licence as id and...

• Surly Bored Postal Worker: - "You need to show a passport."
• Me: - "huh!...I just showed my drivers licence to pick up a registered package this morning so why do I need to show a passport now"
• Surly Bored Postal Worker: - "That was a domestic package, this is an international package."
• Me: - "W.T.F. why didn't you let me know this?"
• Surly Bored Postal Worker: - "We did, it's in the tiny fine print on the back of the notice near the bottom."
• Me: - "F$%&8@#&{~>?{}][%%#!!!!" x 10
• Me: - "So I need to come back tomorrow, forty minutes by subway and walking, take a number, forty minute wait, show Passport as id and then I get my package right?"
• Surly Bored Postal Worker: - "No, this line is just to show id. We then give you another ticket with a number and you go into the next room with 300 people and wait for your number to be called"
• Me: - "You're F'in joking right?"
• Surly Bored Postal Worker: - "Actually no and there's one more thing, you need to pay a 4 pesos admin fee."
• Me: - "F$%&8@#&{~>?{}][%%#!!!!" x 1000

Roll on tomorrow!

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Argentinian TV - What's on your Box?

Photo: TV Show - Bailando por un Sueno

Television has changed a lot since I was an innocent wee lad back in Ireland. As a very young lad, I remember watching TV programs like The Waltons (good night John Boy!) and then in my late teens watching Beverly Hills 90210 (I had the hots for Kelly). We had some great home grown soaps like The Riordans and Bracken where none other than actor Gabriel Byrne started out. Then there were those nice 'wholesome' shows like One Man and his Dog where you watched a farmer control his dog solely by whistling and the dog guided sheep thru an obstacle course and into a pen (riveting stuff I kid you not!)

Then came the advent of Reality TV with Survivor, Big Brother, The Bachelor and that god awful horrible series called The Swan where contestants were competing to have extensive plastic surgery. I hated all of these shows and would rather watch paint (or indeed cow dung) dry.

Around the same time we had the explosion of quiz shows like Who wants to be a Millionaire and You are The Weakest Link - Goodbye!

Now we are in the era of talent shows. American Idol, X-Factor, Pop Idol etc and they have gone one step further and added celebrities to these 'talent' contests.

The current unbelievably popular craze on Argentinian TV is Bailando por un Sueno (Dancing for a Dream). It's been around for a few years. They pair up numerous professional dancers with a celebrity (non dancer) and whittle them down over several (agonising) months. Although I refuse to watch an entire show (well over 2 hours), I do like to watch the highlights (go figure!).

Surprisingly I couldn't find anything on YouTube (maybe copyright issues), so I had to do some technical wizardry to port these videos up (I hope you appreciate the lengths I go to just to educate you to the Argentinian way of life!)

Since all these type of shows are syndicated world wide, I presume they have something like this in your neck of the woods - yes????????? - Let me in know comments pls - Muchas Gracias!

If YouTube doesn't work you can see it here



If YouTube doesn't work you can see it here



If YouTube doesn't work you can see it here



If YouTube doesn't work you can see it here

I'm not sure RTE (Irish TV) would go for this!

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Football Fever!

The folks down here are a little more than passionate about football (that's soccer to you yanks). I still remember the first time sitting at home with the windows open and hearing sporadic roaring and not having a clue what was happening. I'd rush to the window and expect to see a mass riot on the street but nothing / nobody /nada was happening. It was only later that I learned it was your average Mom and Pop sitting at home watching the footie on tv. So then I started turning on the tv myself to see the goals and listen to the commentary.

The most bizarre thing is that some of the channels who don't have the right to show the game will just show pan around the stadium for 90 minutes so you can see the crowd with just audio commentary of the game in the background. It's on my list of things to do to go to a game, preferably Boca Juniors or River Plate or better still, both (like an Old Firm game (Celtic VS Rangers) in Scotland. But for now the entertaining tv commentary (similar to below) will have to do (what a pair of lungs on this commentator - GoooooAAAAALLLLL!

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Toilet Etiquette

When visiting Argentina, you will notice a distinct lack of public toilets. When you do find a public toilet, there's a good chance it won't have toilet paper. There may well be a toilet attendant who will dish out a few sheets (usually way too few!) in exchange for a coin, so I always recommend to people traveling to keep a roll in their bag for emergencies. It's also advisable to have coins in case you don't have your bag with you. If you don't leave a coin for the attendant you might be verbally abused and if looks could kill you would surely be dead! Above all, be sure to follow the toilet etiquette below!

Photo: Toilet Etiquette

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The Weekly News in Brief

Photos: Mothers of the Disappeared

As yet another thunder storm with lightning roars and heavy rain beats against the window, I will give you the news in brief from Argentina from this last week.

New Visas
Ireland and Argentina have agreed to a work exchange program whereby 100 people of both countries can get visas to work in the respective countries. More details here. Good initiative but why only 100 slots available? Argentina's population is 8 times that of Ireland.

Farmers Protest
Before the thunderstorm hit tonight, I was awoken from an late evening siesta (sleeping is fashionable here don't ya know!) by the sound of pots and pans being hammered by spoons and whatnot (a throw back to the protests after the crash in 2001). The farmers strike (due to excessive tariffs / taxes on agricultural produce) made its way to the capital with major protests in the centre of the city, outside the new president Cristina's abode and beyond. As a result of the blockades, there are food shortages including meat, veg, eggs etc in the shops here as supplies are blocked by the protests. I just went to the supermarket and the meat section which is 2 aisles wide was EMPTY!!!!!!!!! If my steak fix is cut off, I may well go postal or worse cannibal! I'll be down on the street myself with my pot & pan!
The government so far is not interested in negotiation. The rural people who voted for the new president Cristina are being ignored. This has the potential to become very ugly indeed. More details here

The Disappeared
This week was 32 years since the beginning of the military dictatorship which led to 30,000 people 'disappearing' and approx 200 babies being kidnapped and appropriated to military couples. There are still protests every week by the mothers of the disappeared in the centre of the city. Only now are some of those responsible being brought to justice. The majority were given immunity under previous government administrations. Many of the biggest houses in the richest neighbourhoods belong to military personnel from the dictatorship. More Details here.

Expensive Cities
In slightly more positive news, Argentina was named 2nd cheapest city to visit for tourists. Oslo, London, Copenhagen and Dublin were the four most expensive in Europe. (I lived in three of these cities so no wonder I'm hiding down here for a while!) More details here

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24 Hour Delivery

Photo: Beer 24/7

I was out for a walk the other day. I love walking. It's therapeutic or soothing or something like that and it's good for you! I pick an area of the city I haven't been to and try and navigate there on foot. Sometimes I get there and sometimes I don't, but I enjoy the exercise. I hate most forms of conventional exercise. The gym, swimming, jogging, pilates (whatever the hell that is?), they are ALL so bleedin' BORING! Walking is cool and everybody does it so it must be really cool. So there I was, walking the other day and I passed this kiosko, which is like an off-licence / mini-mart shop thingy and look what I found......and this in the middle of Lent as well. Jaezuz, what a bunch o' heathens. Who in their right mind would need an alcohol delivery service available 24 hours. It's a moral outrage I tell you....tsk tsk tsk.

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Show me the way to Amarillo

Photo: North is East

I had a bit of a shock recently when I realized my whole geographical perception of Buenos Aires has been a bit skewed...well completely arse backwards actually. I had bought a big map of the city when I arrived 6 months ago, which showed the barrios (neighbourhoods) and streets. Unfortunately, I only realized a few days ago, it has North pointing right i.e. North is actually East on the map. Now I ask you, what gobshite, would design a map with North pointing East?

I went for a wander last week to walk off an extra large Chivito, which simply put is a huge Uruguayan steak sandwich and then some. Anyways, because I was using the mental arse backwards map in my head, I got completely lost and four hours later, I was still wandering round like a missionary in Iraq and it was hotter than hell so I was sweating something fierce.

This is nothing new to me however, as I have that extra stubborn County Westmeath gene inherited from me Da (not that I blame him, apparently it's been in the family for generations or possibly since Adam and Eve. They were from Mullingar according to some biblical historians or was that the Devil himself?, I can never remember. Anyway this defective gene prohibits asking directions for fear of being ridiculed, or worse, sent to the fiery depths of hell for sheer ignorance. Poor ol' Adam was fecked outta the garden of Eden for eating a miserable ol' apple and we all know it was that conniving hussy Eve that led him on, so there's no way I'm asking directions in a city I lived for six months.

Now I could have jumped in a taxi or God forbid, actually asked someone the way, but no, no, no, a wandering I a went. I did make it back home eventually, having walked the four corners of the city. It wasn't a trip completely in vain, as I happened upon some beautiful neighbourhoods and far flung places that I otherwise would never have seen, albeit I still haven't a clue where they are now. Shame, I didn't have the camera though. Ah well sure, they say life's an adventure, but I'd prefer an adventure on a wheels next time.

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The Love Shack is a little ol' place, where, we can be together

It's quite common here for your kids to live at home with you,until they get married or shack up with someone. So you could be sharing your home with your 31 year old daughter or forty-something year old son if they haven't got lucky. Jaezus, I think I'd go postal. I'm thinking both sides of the equation here. If I'm the kids now, having to share a house 24/7 with your parents, till your 30 to 40 would drive me over the edge. Wasn't it the Menendez twins that 'off'ed' there parents and who could blame them.

Parents Question: "What sort of time do you call 4am to be out on a Friday night?"
Gobshite Answer: ".....eh....errr...... normal?!!"

But now that I'm pushing forty meself, I have to empathise with the ol' 'blue rinse crew'. I mean, all they want is a good nights sleep and a bit o' peace n' quiet and maybe some bingo every now n' again. Not, I repeat, NOT, loud drum n' bass pumping at full pitch in the wee hours and toilet doors slamming at all hours. They say the most difficult years for parents AND kids are the teengage years, so I've already decided, my kids (if my lads are swimmers), are OUT on their ear at 11 years old. If a ten year old Somalian kid can join an army and fire a rocket launcher, surely an 11 year old Paddy/Argie prodigy can shovel shite down the stables and earn a living and contribute to his parents upkeep. Away with ya now to the stables for the night, ya ungrateful wee nipper and don't forget to bring me the newspaper and a six-pack on your way back from confession tomorrow morning, may God have mercy on your soul.


Photo: Love Hotel - pay by the hour

Which brings me to the point of this post. - They have these hotels here called 'Love Hotels' for the couples without their own place, that want a bit of privacy and maybe some 'nookie' tonight. They charge by the hour and are mostly found in quiet streets in suburban neighbourhoods. Just look for the tell-tale trees outside the main exit, which is supposed to give some privacy to those exiting stage left in case mummy or daddy or real spouse is driving by at the wrong time.

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