Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Paddy Declares WAR

A military spokesman for 'Paddy in Buenos Aires' confirmed today that the long running border dispute between 'Paddy in Buenos Aires' versus 'The Gut Province' will likely escalate into WAR.  The satellite image above proves 'The Gut Province' has been advancing rapidly and has captured significant strategic territory. 

It has long been suspected 'The Gut Province' is using W.M.A. (Weapons of Mass Accumulation) such as M.E.A.T. and chemical weapons comprised of dangerous elements such as malt, hops, barley and yeast.  'The Gut' has also developed advanced mind control techniques a.k.a. brain washing via the airwaves to incapacitate its enemy for hours, hypnotised in a state of near coma a.k.a. 'couch potato' in front of the TV, where upon subliminal messages further encourage the victim to ingest more poison.
Other subversive tactics include SAS style commandos who break into peoples homes, replacing loose fitting trousers and shirts with identical but unsightly tight fitting ones.  A U.N. spokesman said they were monitoring the situation closely but it was too soon to "weigh in" with a decision.

Be on the lookout for suspicious substances such as this:

Tags: Beer Belly, Beer Gut, fat belly, Irish beer belly, Argentina fat belly

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Baino October 22, 2008 10:07 pm  

Those same commandos have been into my wardrobe and replaced all my clothes . .very devious, they even managed to copy the coffee stain on my white linen shirt!

. . . and a word of warning, any more photos of your 'beer gut' like that (Damn near gave me a heart attack) and I'll be posting pictures of large spiders eating birds .. how's that for the eeeuuuuw factor!)

Quickroute October 22, 2008 10:26 pm  

same coffee stain - I think I saw them do that on CSI
I am terrified of spiders so you will see no more of my beer gut - promise!

iWalk October 22, 2008 11:43 pm  

What a beer gut!

The war is start! who will be the winner?

I hope it's you!

Megan October 22, 2008 11:45 pm  

Earlier this evening I was standing on a chair replacing a light bulb and I saw a reflection in the bedroom window of my belly hanging out. Darn near fainted. But maybe it was just the altitude...

roy October 23, 2008 12:29 am  

There is work to be done, I've got some catching up to do, barman! a pint!

Thriftcriminal October 23, 2008 2:46 am  

Ah, the age old struggle. Cycling 16 miles a day is doing it for me.

Nick October 23, 2008 5:56 am  

Nah, far too big for a beer belly. Looks more like pregnancy to me. Surely that morning sickness gave the game away?

Anonymous,  October 23, 2008 6:22 am  

Can't be the beer - it's just waaaaaay too good for you. Honestly. Drink more, that's the solution. to everything.

Quickroute October 23, 2008 7:27 am  

@ iWalk: Fingers crossed!

@ Megan: pretend it's those bendy circus mirrors - it's just not real

@ Roy: Make mine a double

@ Thrifty: Damn you - i'm looking consolation here - you're supposed to say your gut is bigger

@ Nick: Morning sickness? - I thought it was just a bad pint

@ Conortje: ok - that's the best advice I've heard - it's your round

Broke But Still Drinking October 23, 2008 11:24 am  

Dear God! I hope this doesn't escalate into chemical warfare. I'd hate to see gas unleashed on innocent bystanders.

Annie Ha October 23, 2008 5:48 pm  

there is no way that man isn't about to explode.

rdd October 23, 2008 6:20 pm  

eres un fan de la cerveza , eh , buen post ¡¡

Quickroute October 23, 2008 6:39 pm  

@ Broke: Guinness farts are the worst gas known to man - don't tell Bin Laden

@ Xbox: Sounds like you're under attack - buy some masking tape and seal the windows and stock up the fridge with beer

@ Annie: Suicide beer bomber

@ RDD: Si me encanta la cerveza - obviamente porque soy de Irlanda!

TCL October 23, 2008 11:26 pm  

Baino - no where on Earth can we match Oz in terms of killer creatures. But watery beer we do have here in the States.

Time to go back to work and have me some more PBRs or champagne of beers. OBL isn't the only one keen on producing deadly methane.

Quick where is that 24h alcohol delivery service?

Stevo October 24, 2008 10:19 am  

I declared war. It's a back and forth battle. Damn the Bushmills Brigade.

VE October 24, 2008 1:03 pm  

You know lipo suction could remove that disco ball from this gut...

Queen Of Clean October 25, 2008 8:22 am  

Jesus, he looks like a Cork boiy!!

Actually, he reminds me of being preggers with son #3...ouch!

Quickroute October 25, 2008 11:39 am  

@ TCL: the 24hr alcohol delivery is not too far from where I live

@ Stevo: The good things in life are bad for you I'm afraid

@ VE: I'm considering lipo - so much easier than diet and exercise

@ Queenie: Pregnant women can be attractive - this dude certainly ain't

Queen Goob October 30, 2008 1:58 pm  

Queenie - did number three come out weighing 47 POUNDS?!?!?!?

Queenie,  November 01, 2008 5:45 pm  

Nearly Goob.....9lbs 4oz!

Quickroute November 01, 2008 6:03 pm  

@ Queenie: I was that weight when I was a 1 year old!

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