F**K You for the Voodoo that You Do - Boo Hoo!
I seriously think I've been Hexed. It all started yesterday. I was supposed to go hiking with a friend, on a as yet unconquered picturesque trail and when I checked the weather the night before it was supposed to be clear and sunny.
I awoke to heavy rain beating against the window. The forecast had changed drastically to cloudy and showers (the weather changes in an instant in these parts). I was bummed, but we had to postpone the hike for another day. Everything went arse over tits downhill from then on.
So as not to write-off the day completely, I decided I had but 2 simple tasks to complete for the day.
My simple mission, should I choose to accept it would be:
1. Buy maps of the hiking trails in Hong Kong so I wouldn't be getting lost AGAIN!
2. Buy a new wireless router so 'herself' won't be hogging my laptop
Estimated completion time: 90 minutes
Time of departure: 11:30am
Mission accepted!
I 'memorised' the address of the map shop and nearby there was a computer mall where I could buy a router.
I hopped on a bus to the centre, where it should have been a 10 minute walk to the map shop.
Construction everywhere so I detour thru a local sidewalk food court. Oh Oh! - dead end or walk thru the kitchen where people are brandishing meat cleavers...hmmm.. me thinks not - U-Turn back the way I came - Sigh!
20 minutes later, I arrived at my intended destination, '25 Shanghai St' only to find it's not a map store but a butchers with ...you guessed it..people brandishing meat cleavers. Well this is all going to plan - NOT! (I later discover I should have been looking for '250 Shanghai St' - PILLOCK!
I try to Google the address on my iPhone but can't find it and eventually decide I'll just try a book store. I end up in another construction zone dead end - U-Turn back the way I came - Sigh! - GOBSHITE!
The book store doesn't have the maps I want so wasted trip - Feck! I eventually find the website and it says most post offices sell the maps, so I walk another 20 minutes and get to the counter only to be told they don't sell them anymore, BUT he tells me I can buy them at the map store at 250 Shanghai Street - ARGH! - TOSSER!!!!!
I decide to buy the wireless router on the way which in the end takes an hour and then hop a bus back to '250 Shanghai Street' to buy the maps - but miss my stop and end up 10 minutes the wrong side of where I want to be. - MUPPET!
I FINALLY get to the store and order the maps which were pricier than I thought and I don't have enough cash and they don't take credit cards so I have to leave, find an ATM and return and EVENTUALLY purchase the maps. - HALLELUJAH!!!
Actual task completion time: 5 hours
Time of completion: 16:30pm
I then did what any self respecting Irishman would do in this situation. It was time to try to flush the demons out with Holy Stout. So I met a friend in Delaney's Irish Pub for several doses of vitamin 'G' to rid myself of the devils curse.
Vitamin'G'
It seemed to work. I had no more mishaps, had a good time and got home safely, BUT.....
....Today I spent 6 hours configuring the blasted new frikkin' wireless router. I then remembered it's exactly one year to the day since this similar wireless router incident happened (click here) - How f***ed up is that?! Cure for a hex anyone?
I awoke to heavy rain beating against the window. The forecast had changed drastically to cloudy and showers (the weather changes in an instant in these parts). I was bummed, but we had to postpone the hike for another day. Everything went arse over tits downhill from then on.
So as not to write-off the day completely, I decided I had but 2 simple tasks to complete for the day.
My simple mission, should I choose to accept it would be:
1. Buy maps of the hiking trails in Hong Kong so I wouldn't be getting lost AGAIN!
2. Buy a new wireless router so 'herself' won't be hogging my laptop
Estimated completion time: 90 minutes
Time of departure: 11:30am
Mission accepted!
I 'memorised' the address of the map shop and nearby there was a computer mall where I could buy a router.
I hopped on a bus to the centre, where it should have been a 10 minute walk to the map shop.
Construction everywhere so I detour thru a local sidewalk food court. Oh Oh! - dead end or walk thru the kitchen where people are brandishing meat cleavers...hmmm.. me thinks not - U-Turn back the way I came - Sigh!
20 minutes later, I arrived at my intended destination, '25 Shanghai St' only to find it's not a map store but a butchers with ...you guessed it..people brandishing meat cleavers. Well this is all going to plan - NOT! (I later discover I should have been looking for '250 Shanghai St' - PILLOCK!
I try to Google the address on my iPhone but can't find it and eventually decide I'll just try a book store. I end up in another construction zone dead end - U-Turn back the way I came - Sigh! - GOBSHITE!
The book store doesn't have the maps I want so wasted trip - Feck! I eventually find the website and it says most post offices sell the maps, so I walk another 20 minutes and get to the counter only to be told they don't sell them anymore, BUT he tells me I can buy them at the map store at 250 Shanghai Street - ARGH! - TOSSER!!!!!
I decide to buy the wireless router on the way which in the end takes an hour and then hop a bus back to '250 Shanghai Street' to buy the maps - but miss my stop and end up 10 minutes the wrong side of where I want to be. - MUPPET!
I FINALLY get to the store and order the maps which were pricier than I thought and I don't have enough cash and they don't take credit cards so I have to leave, find an ATM and return and EVENTUALLY purchase the maps. - HALLELUJAH!!!
Actual task completion time: 5 hours
Time of completion: 16:30pm
I then did what any self respecting Irishman would do in this situation. It was time to try to flush the demons out with Holy Stout. So I met a friend in Delaney's Irish Pub for several doses of vitamin 'G' to rid myself of the devils curse.
Vitamin'G'It seemed to work. I had no more mishaps, had a good time and got home safely, BUT.....
....Today I spent 6 hours configuring the blasted new frikkin' wireless router. I then remembered it's exactly one year to the day since this similar wireless router incident happened (click here) - How f***ed up is that?! Cure for a hex anyone?
Tags: ..Voodoo..
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7 comments:
A Pillock, gobshite, tosser muppet - that's going down in the anals of humour I can tell you! And to cap it off your 'click here' linky doesn't work. Don't they have service stations in Honkers! They always sell maps!
@ Baino: Yeah they sell street maps everywhere but this was a special hiking map. Thanks I fixed the 'click here' link
My evening: watched The Commitments with the kids. Decided to check email/fb/twitter before hitting the sack. Read your post. Cracked up. Feel 100% full of Dublin-ese for the day now.
@ Wandermom: That's one of my all time fav movies - Fav quote:
Q. "Yer not bringing dat horse in the lift are ya?
A. Yeah - Sure the bleedin' stairs would kill him!
Oh that made me laugh! Thanks, I needed it!
I hope there is a significant decrease in meat-cleaver sightings soon!
Ha, one of those days when everything gets snarled up from the word go. Haven't we all had plenty of them? I hope at least that you get some fabulous hikes out of them thar hard-won maps!
@ Megan: Thanks - glad it made someones day!
@ Nick: Yeah - the day from hell - the maps have already paid for themselves I'm happy to report!
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