2010

White Stuff Everywhere

Everybody is talking about snow and ice and cold and when you turn on the news it's nothing but blah blah blah about white stuff everywhere. I specifically flew south for Xmas to avoid this crap but what happens?....There's feckin' white stuff everywhere here too..

OK - I guess white stuff on the ground isn't always bad... and now Trivia time for Pensacola Beach:

1.) This beach was completely fu(ked by the BP oil spill earlier this year but thankfully has recovered rather well.

2.) The Native American Indian Geronimo (now there's a real American Hero) was sent here (Fort Pickens) after his capture. Must have been quite a contrast from his homeland of New Mexico.

Tags: ..Pensacola Beach, Florida..

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2010 - The Year in Review

Since this blog is more of a diary, I feel compelled to share that 2010 is a bit of a blur (nought to do with beer - well maybe a wee bit..). It was a challenging year to be sure. The missus and I flew from our abode in Hong Kong and spent the last week of 2009 slummin' in a swanky Singapore apartment courtesy of my cuz' and his missus ('grassy arse' B & J) who headed to the snow and ice mayhem of London / Dublin for their Xmas break including an unscheduled free stopover on the airport floor for a night in Luton. Deja Vu if you look at the weather forecast in those parts of Europe at the mo'.

We were back in Hong Kong just in time for a spectacular New Years fireworks display with a large party crowd on a glitzy junk boat on the HK harbour, where I got spectacularly busted trying to 'borrow' a bottle of champagne from the 'non communal ice box'. The problem with a boat is there's nowhere to run and hide from dirty looks and worse (for 90+ slow, tick-tock, agonizing minutes....cringe). Note to self - only steal champagne on land from now on - lessons learned.

The jury is still deliberating as to whether I had been avoiding work or it had been alluding me but alas in February 2010 opportunity knocked and I answered and after some back n' forth and see-saw, a potential international relocation for June/July once again presented itself to the already road weary Mr and Mrs Paddy in BA.

And so it came to pass, that we Irish/Argie gypsies packed up shop once more and headed off into the sunset to arrive at an already familiar destination (NYC/NJ) where upon six months has now passed and I'm happy to say no regrets (apart from the B&T label). We've reconnected with old friends and made new friends and with the exception of owning a home (we rent), and having 2.5 children (New Years resolution) and a dog (not likely) and a car (maybe) we are living the American dream (subject to recessionary scaling).

Here's Wishing Best Wishes for the Holidays and Happy New Year to Y'all!

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Tags: .2010 - The Year in Review..

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Rubberbandits - Horse Outside

How to pick up the ladies in Ireland....

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Tags: ..Rubberbandits - Horse Outside, madeline mulqueen..

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Scarred for life by the brute force of Irish hospitality

The Irish have a reputation for hospitality which is renowned the world over. When you visit someones residence you will typically be offered a cup of tea. This apparent gesture of goodwill should not be taken lightly. Do not under any circumstances accept a cup of tea. Tea is a gateway refreshment which leads to more and more varieties of snacks and food you don't want. If you accept the tea you will be asked if you want sandwiches, cake and on and on it goes. Before you know it, you are presented with enough food to feed an army

The fundamental problem with Irish hospitality is the shameful lack of moderation and restraint. As a wee lad visiting friends and relatives in rural Ireland I still have torturous memories of being subjected to unwieldy amounts of hospitality. I remember the pre-visit strategy where my parents would warn us kids not to say 'yes' to any form of refreshment. This rarely worked as my Mum would eventually be forced into submission of 'just a cup of tea' and before long the mountain of sandwiches were in front of us. The amount of butter on these sandwiches was criminal verging on manslaughter. Thick dollops and wedges of artery clogging butter that made me want to vomit on the spot. My Dad would lean over and whisper to us - "Yiz better feckin' finish those sandwiches now, 'cos we don't waste food around here."

To this day, I still gag at even the thought of butter and I eat only dry toast. Scarred for life at an early age by the brute force of Irish hospitality.

Tags: ..Butter..

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First a Fire, then a Flood, What's next a plague of locusts?

We had a bit of excitement in our crib a few days ago. I felt compelled to record some of it. I added some artistic licence where it was lacking.....

Tags: ..Fire, then a Flood, what's next a plague of locusts?..

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The End of the World is Nigh?

And so it has begun. I went to the mall today ....

(place to go shopping for you non Yankee natives) as one does in this part of the world for a leisure activity and lo and behold they were playing Christmas music - WTF?. There's shops with Xmas lights - Jingle Bells - White Xmas, Apparently - Tis' the Season to be Jolly! - Stuff the Turkeys hole with Holly and all that jazz. - but just a bit early mind you? A sign of a desperate economy perhaps? Christmas has indeed come early. The Republicans and the highly intellectual Tea Party are flavor of the month in the recent elections. Obama has failed to revive the US economy even though he's had 2 years to fix the 8 years Georgie W.B. used to flush us down the toilet with 2 unwanted wars in far off lands. Time to board a flying saucer to some far flung universe where humanity will have a better chance of survival. All aboard Noah's Ark now before the flood starts.

Tags: ..The End of the World is Nigh?..

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The Cuban Pisshead Crisis

In June of 2002, I planned a trip to Cuba with my young reprobate of a brother. Since he was living in London and I in New York (no direct flights permitted to Cuba) we decided we would rendezvous in the Bahamas where we could spend a few nights and continue the short hop, skip and a jump to Castro-land from there.

I arrived in the Bahamas first and junior was scheduled to arrive the following morning. When he was a no show 4 hours after his expected E.T.A, I bought some international phone cards and eventually tracked him down on his phone to hear his 'tale of woe' of how he 'left his jacket in a nightclub' (for the 65th time!) and said jacket had his feckin' passport in the inside pocket..........but not to worry he had already been to the Irish Embassy to get an emergency replacement passport which involved having to submit a police report. But not to worry as he had already re-booked his flight and would arrive 24 hours later than originally planned.....or would he?!

When he was a no show 4 hours after his rescheduled E.T.A, I eventually tracked him down on his phone to hear yet another 'tale of woe' of how he was afraid he'd miss his flight if he went to bed so he stayed out on the town all night and in his frazzled state he could no longer recollect where he had left his replacement passport.......but not to worry he had already been to the Irish Embassy (where the warm Irish welcome was more like frost n' hail) to get another emergency replacement passport which involved having to submit another police report and likely getting him added as a suspect for selling passports. But not to worry as he had already re-booked his flight and would arrive 24 hours later than the 24 hours later than originally planned.....or would he?!.....Well, yes, in fact he did finally arrive at our hotel where I hurled a torrent, nay a tsunami of verbal abuse that left an indelible impression on him ....for at least 3 minutes and was promptly forgotten / ignored.

The passport saga was not quite over just yet but I'll save that for the post script.

After a final night in the Bahamas we headed to the airport and boarded an ancient rattle n' rust bucket, propeller plane to Havana. I withdrew 800 dollars from an ATM just before takeoff. The ATM only dispensed Bahamian dollars but these were 1 to 1 to the USD so not an issue as far as I was concerned. Junior had forgotten to advise his bank he was out of the country so they had cancelled his card due to suspicious activity. We were in a prepaid all-inclusive resort in Varadero, North West Cuba for the first 3 nights and the last 3 nights in Old Havana where again the hotel had been prepaid.

Cuba was cheap and it was only on our second last night I needed to tap into my reserve of Bahamian dollars. We must have tried 20 different money exchange places but nobody wanted anything to do with Bahamian dollars. All my cards were issued out of the US and therefore not accepted in Castro-ville. Shuttle to the airport was included with the hotel so we just needed booze tokens... oh yeah and food...maybe. We were literally up socialist alley without a peso (almost). Somehow we had to survive for 48 hours on about u$d15 each. Easy for a local but not Irish tourists looking for craic!.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. So for u$d8 each we availed of an 8am tour of Old Havana (one has to immerse oneself in the culture - doesn't one?) which included a tour of the Havana Rum distillery. After abusing the samples table including a mint flavored rum (akin to mouthwash) we were eventually ushered out by security for being a tad over zealous breakfast imbibers.

On our last night in Cuba we felt the cold hard reality of socialism. We had just enough money to buy 2 cans of beer and share a toasted sandwich before going to bed at 8pm. However, we had endured, we had overcome - Viva la Revolucion!

....and what of the last detail of the passport saga? - I hear you ask.....Well when Junior finally arrived in the Bahamas after losing his passport twice, his bags had gone AWOL on route and when they showed up 24 hours later, there in his suitcase was the original 'lost' passport, where he had stashed it for safe keeping. (not in his misplaced jacket pocket as he had thought)

Tags: .The Cuban Pisshead Crisis..

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R.I.P. - DUNNES STORES :-((

Apparently a Facebook Group (click here) I set up in 2007 - 'Dunnes Stores - Northside Shopping Centre, Coolock, Dublin', where I slaved for years as a teenager and beyond, suddenly has "content that infringes or otherwise violates the rights of a third party." WTF?!!

Is it Dunnes Stores concerned their logo was being used irreverently? Is it a disgruntled eejit who was or wasn't included? Who the feck knows!

As a result the Facebook Gestapo have zapped the entire thing. The group had over one hundred people, loads of photos and good banter. Thankfully it achieved it's objective and reconnected lots of people who partied like rock stars on minimum wage many moons ago. Supposedly, I can dispute and argue my case via email but I'm not holding my breath.

To the "violated third party" - As they say in Asia - "Fuck the 18 generations of your ancestors!" - (Cao ni zu zong shi ba dai)!

Tags: ..RIP - DUNNES STORES :-((..

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Jesus is following me on Twitter

I haven't exactly been full throttle on Twitter since I signed up a few years ago. The problem is I'm not always sure what to twit about. Are people really interested in knowing - .... I'm having a ham sandwich! - or - ......I'm constipated!.... or other fascinating personal details - I know I'm not interested in Facebook 'friends' who need to share their 'FARMVILLE' adventures and need my help to rescue a frikin' imaginary black sheep or even worse read the answers to a quiz they took about ME - WTF!

So you can just imagine my surprise to discover the man upstairs (Jesus) is now following me on Twitter. Some of you will recall my altercation with the Holy One many years ago [click here for a recap], so I'm delighted to be back in favour. He doesn't seem to be too popular yet so I suspect he might be just using me to get to my friends/followers. So my question to you is...Should I follow Jesus back or risk being damned to the fiery depths of Hell? If I don't follow him and he unfollows me - what then? Advice?

Jesus (@Jaezuzz) is now following your tweets (@quickroute) on Twitter.

Jesus

I'm walkin' on water y'all

Tags: ..Jesus is following me on Twitter..

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Memories from the Eighties - Amster-Van-Damn!

Back in 1989 when I was a Paddy in UK (London), I escaped for the long weekend with a bunch of lads (Sten, Podge, Mick, Tony and me) to Amsterdam. In those days there were no budget airlines for cheap flights. There were no web portals like Expedia for booking hotels n' what not. Be-Jaezuz, sure the feckin' Internet of interconnecting tubes thingy hadn't even been invented yet. The 'youth of today' (never thought I'd use that expression) don't know how feckin' easy they have it.

So off we set on a Friday evening with no advance reservations for travel or accommodation. We hopped on the tube from Colindale to Victoria, train to Dover, then hovercraft to Calais, and finally a train to Amsterdam where we alighted and walked to a tourist office to secure our bed for the night.

We were just a tad pissed off to find out there wasn't a single room to be had due a Dutch holiday with people from the far corners of Holland descending on the city. It was getting late and we figured we were losing valuable drinking time so we put our bags in the train station lockers and went off on the razz (mega pub crawl).

I don't think any of us were expecting what was on offer in Amsterdam. Ireland in the late 'eighties' was practically pre-historic in terms of conservatism and London was still under the grips of Maggie Thatcher so wasn't much better but Amsterdam, Holland was off-the-hook!

Suffice to say a good time was had by all until the very wee hours and daylight, whereupon our accommodation dilemma raised it's very ugly and by now very sore head. We trekked back to the tourist office after breakfast only to be given the same 'No room at the Inn' story and were advised to head 20kms outside Amsterdam to the city of Harlem.

On arrival at the tourist office in Harlem we were given the same bad news of "Booked Solid" so we did what any resourceful group of extremely hungover and sleep deprived lads would do. We rented a Volkswagen transit van (now 11am) and drove it to a nearby car park where five of us snored up a proverbial storm (some more comfortable than others).

We availed of free showers in the train station later that evening before heading back for another wild night in Amsterdam and another vampire-like day sleep in the van. I think the car hire company were flummoxed since the 'IN' return mileage for 2 days was exactly the same as the 'OUT'.

Cultural highlights of the weekend included an Off-Off-Broadway production of 'Moulin Rouge' and a novel artistic cinematic take of the classic 'Animal Farm'. Things to Note: Flemish pastries will literally blow your mind!

Tags: .Amster-Van-Damn, ..

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A plague on both your houses! I am sped.

I got about 100 email delivery failure notifications from emails I didn't send today. Talk about rejection! Still not sure exactly how/what happened but some artificial intelligence / virus got a hold of my Gmail deets and started firing off emails to everybody in my contacts list. The ever vigilant Google gestapo eventually stopped delivering the emails and rejected them due to 'suspicious activity on my account'

The emails had a link to some dodgy site which would download malware or a virus if you clicked on it. I have no idea how many bogus emails actually got thru to peeps and how many actually clicked on the bogus links (hopefully limited damage) but just a heads up to those of you slow to check your emails - If you a get an email from me with an obscure link - DON'T click on it!.... and if you DID click on it then you might want to see a doctor....a PC doctor that is or at least run a virus scan.

p.s. If you have an itchy rash down 'there' you should probably see a 'real' doctor but don't blame me for that.

Tags: ..type tags here..

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Badda Bing, Badda Boom

Indoors (the new apartment) is still a bit of a work in progress

but thankfully we're no longer sittin' on camping chairs (I miss the beer holder mind you :-(( Until the final touches are done you'll have to make do with some random photos of the local highlights including a large German style beer garden which has been officially classified as 'the local' (Irish Pubs are so yester-year!) Lot's of open walkable space round these parts and good views of Manhattan adds to the appeal. Ten minute walk to work is a minor detail!

Tags: ..Sopranos..

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There's NO such feckin' thing as a flight for 50p

This is dedicated to those of you who have had the pleasure and privilege of flying Ryanair. I discovered the joys of Ryanair on some of their flights to Fuerteventura which were an experience to behold.

Tags: ..Cheap Flights me ARSE!..

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Interior Design for Dummies

Moving into a new apartment is exciting but without furniture it can be challenging doing a simple thing like eating a home cooked meal or a take-out or a delivery for that matter. Thankfully McGyver paid us a visit and sorted everything out including Feng Shui arrangements. I particularly like the beer / remote control holder ensemble. Martha Stewart - Kiss my ass!
What do you think?

Tags: ..How to furnish your apartment during a recession..

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No Butts About It!

Nice view of the Brooklyn Bridge, NYC......'butt' look closer ....

Dude.... WTF.....That ain't pretty - wear some frikkin' REAL pants....PLEASE!

Tags: ..No Butts About It!..

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DON'T TAKE THE PISS!

From the acclaimed director of No Shit - coming to a Pizza place near you.....

Tags: ..DON'T TAKE THE PISS!..

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No - Nay - Never - No More Gypsy No More!

I am so happy I'm speaking in tongues

Tags: ..New Apartment..

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Welcome (Back) to the Big Apple

It's been a while since the last update but as they say - Time flies when you're having fun and sometimes you have to fly before you get to have some fun, but these days flying ain't much fun, with ash clouds and security checks and baggage allowance restrictions and.....etc etc but I digress as usual.

I've been doing a lot of flying of late. I left Hong Kong two weeks ago and had a great time visiting family and friends in Dublin and London before finally touching down in what will be my new home, New York aka the Big Apple. I lived here before from 1995-2005 so it's not exactly a new home but it's refreshing being back on familiar turf and reconnecting with some old friends.

I've also finally rejoined the rat race after an extended absence so can no longer have a legitimate claim to being a feckin' 'bum' :-(( P.S. - If I owe you money then take a ticket and wait your turn.

If you google 'Paddy in BA' then this ol' humble blog (paddyinba.blogspot.com) is #1 top spot as it started way back as a way to chronicle my adventures as 'Paddy in Buenos Aires' and then morphed into 'Paddy in Buenos Asia' and now hither forth shall be known as 'Paddy in the Big Apple'. I hope to NOT 'Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today' - anytime soon!

Tags: ..Paddy in the Big Apple.

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HUNKY DORY - HUBBA HUBBA!

Would you eat crisps out of her knickers? This is a fairly clever and raunchy advertising campaign for Irish Hunky Dory Crisps (potato chips). I went to a rugby school but the players never looked anything like this (might have had something to do with the fact it was an all boys school run by priests)

Hunky Dory Crisps

More photos in slideshow below

Apparently the ad campaign has come under fire for being a bit too provocative. The Irish Rugby Football Union (IRFU) said "This advertising campaign is in very bad taste and one which the IRFU would not want to be associated with in any way,"

Cheers to Diarmuidh for bringing this story to my attention

Now answer the question in the photo below!

Tags: ..Eating HUNKY DORY crisps out of her knickers, Would you kick her out of bed for eating crisps?Hunky Dory Ad Advert,Hunky Dory Rugby Ad, which one would you throw out of bed for eating crisps? HUNKY DORY CRISPS..

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NEWSFLASH! Goodbye and Farewell to Hong Kong :-((

Her: Thank you for agreeing to the interview on such short notice

Me: I actually told my publicist I would only let you interview me if you were naked?

Her: That is NOT going to happen

Me: Do you mind if .... eh..can I get naked?

Her: Yes...No... What?

Me: Does no mean yes?

Her: No. Nobody is getting naked - OK! Now can we move on?

Me: {sigh}

Her: Is it true you are leaving Hong Kong?

Me: Yes, the rumours are true

Her: Why?

Me: I've been offered a job abroad

Her: When do you leave?

Me: I leave in a few weeks

Her: You're married right? What does your wife think about the move?

Me: Yes - she is very excited - It's the start of a new adventure.

Her: You seem to have had a quite few adventures - isn't it time to settle down?

Me: Yes - that's the plan - we're both weary of the travels so this move will be the last for quite some time...at least that's the plan

Her: Will there be a big leaving party?

Me: I personally hate big organised send offs - long goodbyes etc so nothing structured - Lets just say I will be in Lan Kwai Fong on Saturday May 15th at 9pm - If anybody wants to drop by and say cheerio then that's splendid.

Her: How will they know how to find you?

Me: Easy - I'll have my mobile (with email) and I will be the drunkest person there

Her: err.. that sounds a little scarey?

Me: Be Afraid my dear. Be Very Afraid! It's also my birthday so I'll be twice as drunk as usual

Her: eh.. moving along....What will you miss the most about Hong Kong?

Me: Hiking - click [here] - Some of the trails here are stunningly beautiful. For example, today when you suckers were working I was hiking [here] - If you listen carefully there's a subliminal message just about audible (turn up the volume)

Her: Wait, so you don't work? How long have you been in Hong Kong and what have you been doing?

Me: I've been here just over a year. I've been sort of 'in between' jobs for a while now. A victim of the Global Financial WhatYamaThingy. I haven't been a complete bum mind you. I've done some complex server relocation work which has taken me to Beijing and New Jersey and more recently I've been dabbling as a social media consultant for a Spanish travel agent setting up their online presence on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Flickr and their blog.

Her: Oh 'Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Flickr' - you should make a jingle out of that. How did you get involved with social media?

Me: Well I've been blogging and tweeting for a few years and recently I started this Facebook page with 1 fan (me) and thru a little creativity it now has quite a few more - Click here to see how many. If I could have duplicated that for other people/brands, I'd be a rich man but unfortunately it's not that easy.

Her: I understand your in-laws are visiting and staying with you right now? Is it true they threatened to move in permanently if you didn't stop being a bum?

Me: WTF? - How did you know that?

Her: We hacked your Facebook account - sorry!

Me: Sh!t - Mother Frickin' Son of a .......{sigh} - No comment - next question

Her: What will you miss the least about Hong Kong?

Me: Apart from hackers? - Pollution. It's gotten really bad recently and there are weeks that go by when you don't see the sky for the haze of smog that blows in from the factories in mainland China. Shame really but the Motherland is in full production mode and we are down wind.

Her: What will you take away from this year in Asia?

Me: I feel lucky to have explored most of South East Asia even if some of it was on 24 hour vomit stinky buses. I love to travel and so managed to tick off a few more countries and met some great people and new friends along the way

Her: I almost forgot to ask. Where are you moving to?

Me: Ah glad you asked me that as I wanted to give people a heads up. Well we are actually relocating to....

Her: ...Oh sorry, we've actually run out of time but thanks again for joining us....and now back to Greg in the studio.

[....to be Continued]

Tags: .Goodbye Hong Kong - Hello New World!..

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Food Mathematics for Dummies

Cooking can be time consuming. All that prep time, washing, chopping, slicing, boiling, roasting, frying and simmering. After all that it gets eaten in a just a few minutes and tomorrow you have to do all the prep again. Fast food or take out is tempting but not recommended . I like to cook once every two weeks but eat a home cooked meal every night. This is my 'fried' and tested formula. Watch and Learn!

[2 Kgs Lean Minced Beef]

+

[2 x Large Onions (Diced)]

+

[2Ltrs Tomato sauce]

+

[Seasoning (lots)]

[Heat it all in a large saucepan]

= [Monday - Spaghetti Bolognaise]

+ [Tuesday - Chilli con Carne (add baked beans)]

+ [Wednesday - Penne Pasta & meat sauce]

+ [Thursday - Chilli Hot Dog]

+ [Friday - Baked Potato with Chilli]

+ [Saturday - Chilli with toast]

+ [Sunday - This]

+

+ (if Pepto doesn't work take a swig of this)

= [Next week - Monday-Sunday - Salad]

[Repeat as necessary]

So what do you cook and how often?

Tags: .Food Mathemics for Dummies..

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He IS the 'ONE' they've been waiting for!

Swedish people - gotta love 'em......I know I do!

Paddy in BA gets some Swedish Love (see vid below)!

Tags: ..I'm Green with Envy!..

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