The Great Wall of China

Digressing from the previous 'Dick on a Stick' post I must return to more travel related content. I finally got to visit the Great Wall of China last week, which has been near the top of my "have to go" list for a long time. Sometimes you can have very high expectations for a place that you've yearned to visit and unfortunately these places don't always live up to your expectations but I'm happy to report the 'Great Wall' didn't disappoint.


The wall follows the bumpy contour of the rugged land and winds and stretches as far as you can see, off into the horizon and beyond. I hadn't realised just how steep some of the sections are and you literally need to hang on to a metal railing to heave yourself up some of the inclines. Likewise, you could find yourself slipping on your arse on the declines if you're not careful.


Although we only spent about an hour on the wall, we were all feeling aches and pains for the rest of the day as we must've been using muscles that rarely get used. Of course it could just be we're getting old and the zimmer frames will be a short hop, skip and a fall away.

More pics below

Tags: ..The Great Wall of China..

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Do You Like PENIS?

Snack Street, Beijing

I was asked the rather unusual question above on a visit to Beijing, China a few days ago. I was on a part business, part pleasure trip. More on the trip in a later post. A bunch of us visited the 'Snack Street' market on Sunday where they serve all sorts of weird food stuff on a stick like in the photos below.

Crickets on a stick -yummy!

Scorpions on a stick

Star Fish on a stick

Live scorpions on a stick

Grubs on a stick

More scorpions on a stick

Other tasty stuff on a stick

These eastern delicacies which were all impaled on a thin wooden stick included live scorpions which had been skewered and somehow managed to keep wriggling. They were dipped in hot oil for a minute before being served with a spicy sauce - yum...ouch!

More tasty stuff on a stick

Other treats included crickets, grubs (fat caterpillar type blobs), centipedes, sea snakes, beetles, silk worms, star fish and .....wait for it........sheep penis! - yes you heard right!

SHEEP PENIS

Always on the lookout for a good photo, I reached into my pants and pulled mine out (my camera that is!) and tried to focus on the woolly ones curly members on a stick (see above).

As I was snapping my picture, the stall vendor went into serious hard sell tactics and shouted and pointed directly at me - "YOU LIKE PENIS?"

I tried to ignore him and get a better picture but the more I ignored him, the more he pointed and the louder he shouted - "YOU WANT TRY PENIS?" - HEY MISTER - YOU LIKE PENIS?"

Needless to say the bunch of lads I was traveling with and everyone within a 20 meter radius found this hysterical so I retreated hastily with my tail/penis between my legs.

I never got to try penis and I probably never will - Not that there's anything wrong with trying penis!

Snack Street, Beijing, China

Tags: .. Snack Street Beijing China, Snack Street..

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Symphony of Lights, Hong Kong

I was writing a guest post on a blog about free things to see and do in Hong Kong and I realised I had never showed you, my loyal fans (all 3 of you) the spectacle known as 'The Symphony of Lights'. It's touted to be the "World's Largest Permanent Light and Sound Show" by the Guinness Book of Records.

It's basically a massive musical laser light show from the tallest buildings in Hong Kong. It takes place every night at 8pm and it's FREE which is always a bonus, especially in these dark times of recession. The basic laser show is impressive in itself but on special occasions they add fireworks to the mix which ups the 'WOW' factor by at least ten times. Check the YouTube video below.

How to get there: MTR East Tsim Sha Tsui Station Exit J, and follow the signs to the Avenue of Stars and Tsim Sha Tsui Waterfront.

Tags: ..Symphony of Lights Hong Kong laser show ..

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Monkey Business

After the previous somewhat serious post, I thought I'd lighten things up a little. I like to write and express and talk shite about, well shite mostly. As I was revisiting the pics of our recent Asia trip I realized there was so much I didn't say, capture, express or share (for lack of time - not that I'm not full of shite) so I'd like to start making up for that a little i.e. 'share and care' by way of short posts of photos if that's ok with you? - huh? - I can't hear you?

Without further ado or bullshite - here are some photos from a monkey sanctuary in Ubud, Bali, Indonesia. Check the YouTube video I uploaded at the end - these monkeys are well looked after by both the locals and tourists and often fare better than some of the poor towns folk.

Although they are photogenic, I couldn't help thinking they are just rats with more 'cute' appeal. There but for the grace of God go the rest of mankind! - OK - Perhaps I've seen 'Planet of the Apes' one too many times! You be the judge.

Tags: ..monkeys Ubud, sanctuary, Bali..

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Macau, China

We paid u$d100 for a flight from Bangkok to Macau with just 16 hours notice - damn cheap!
Interestingly enough, Macau was both the first and last European colony in China. It was the Portuguese who first settled in Macau back in the 16th century and subsequently administered it until the handover in 1999. It has a similar status to Hong Kong since it has a certain degree of autonomy for 50 years after the handover. What happens after the 50 years is anyones guess but China will probably rule the world by then and we'll all be part of the communist party except that former rogue superpower, the USA which will be a socialist old people killer dictatorship!

Old Town Macau

There still is a certain Portugese feel to the place with Portuguese road signs and cuisine. Apparently it's one of the richest cities in the world with a thriving textile, electronics and tourist industry. The other big draw for the tourists is gambling with a long strip of casinos where reportedly more money changes hands than in Las Vegas (The Chinese LOVE to gamble).

The Strip, Macau

If you've been to Vegas you might be a little disappointed here however as although it has bright lights and casinos galore, it lacks the buzz and excitement of the real McCoy. A lot of mainland Chinese come here to buy 'real' goods since the fakes are so prevalent back in China. We saw people buying suitcases full of baby powder milk. I assume they don't trust the powdered milk in China and who could blame them after the poisoned batch killed so many poor kids.


We got to check out the latest Cirque du Soleil show 'Zaia' while we were there which was ok but I have to say I'm getting a bit bored with the repetition in those shows (contortionist, clown, acrobat...zzzzZZZZZZ!)

Zaia

Well my friends, that is the end of the South East Asia trip so were back to reality in Hong Kong now. Hope you enjoyed traveling vicariously thru us and I'll try and post a highlights / recap just to bore you senseless shortly.

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Tags: .Macau, China..

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Bangkok, Thailand

When I first visited Bangkok back in 1994, it was a sprawling, congested, polluted city where tuk tuks seemed to outnumber people as they spewed fumes across pot holed streets. Today the pollution and infrastructure is much improved and shiny new taxis now outnumber the tuk tuks but a general sense of traffic chaos persists.

For such a large city, it's bizarre that much of the budget tourist accommodation is condensed around 4 small square blocks centred around Khaosan Road. With the diverse mix of nationalities walking the streets here, one could easily forget you were in Asia as at first glance, it's more of an Amsterdam cosmopolitan feel.

Most of the cheapest flights into and out of South East Asia start / stop here so it's backpacker central with a mix of pasty white people (many Irish) who obviously have never left home before and seasoned travelers eager to escape onto less crowded pastures. It's a party town and as you eat breakfast at 8am there are plenty of folks only getting home after a hard night of 'entertainment' and looking worse for wear.

Check bottom left of photo below!

It's a shoppers paradise with massive street markets and shopping malls (like the huge MBK mall) selling a mixture of high end legitimate wares and fake brands at bargain prices. Pirated and fake goods include clothes, electronics, software and documents (see below)

Fake id's made to order

The other big draw here, as with many other parts of Thailand is SEX. The famous nightlife district of Patpong has everything from titty bars to ping pong shows where talented ladies project missiles such as ping pong balls, darts and bananas from certain orifices as crowds of onlookers cheer. Beware the scams in this district too as many people have reported being ripped off with extortionate drink bills of up to u$d500 where the bouncers descend like vultures to make sure you pay up. The local police are paid off so forget about getting 'justice'.

The ladies of the night at Patpong

There are redeeming qualities to the city however, as a plethora of temples and palaces and museums more than make up for tacky, seedy side of the city. Like it or loathe it, I can honestly say there is nowhere else quite like Bangkok. More Photos below.

The trip so far - Click to enlarge

Tags: .Bangkok, Thailand, Khaosan Road, Khao San Road Rd, MBK shopping mall center centre, ..

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Myanmar (Burma), Talichek, Keng Tung

The immigration process to enter Talichek, Myanmar aka Burma from Mae Sai, Thailand is easily the most bizarre I've ever encountered but sort of expected given the secretive nature of this military junta. Many areas are off limits for foreigners and specific roads are closed with checkpoints only allowing approved locals to travel.

After paying the u$d10 visa fee you have to specify how far you are going and then you surrender your passport to immigration and get issued a temporary travel document with photo (looks like a Myanmar passport) which gets stamped as you pass numerous checkpoints. You retrieve your passport as you exit the country thru the same border crossing.

Myanmar temporary passport id

After crossing the border and changing our watches back half an hour to Myanmar time, we presented our temporary travel documents to the bus ticket agent who then had to send them by moto back to immigration to log exactly where we were going. From this point on we never handled our documents since they were handed on to the next host recipient be it the bus driver, tuk tuk driver or guest house owner etc who was obligated to register our details with 'big brother'.

Myanmar, Burma

The bus from Talichek to Keng Tung took 5 hours but the scenery was fantastic with luscious green rice fields set into the mountains of jungle. They don't get too many tourists around here so when we arrived we were quite a novelty for the locals and got received with a mixture of curiosity and friendliness. Kids and adults will just stare and when you say hello they smile or just look away shyly.

Poverty is a serious problem here and you can see the life struggle some of these people have had just looking in their eyes but they are still very friendly. It's hard to believe this was once one of the wealthiest countries in SE Asia when the British colonized it. Even more disturbing is the continuing house arrest for Aung San Suu Kyi who faces fresh charges after an American activist recently entered her house apparently uninvited.

Keng Tung, Myanmar / Burma

The only foreigners we met were a French couple who had traveled from Mandalay and some missionary workers who were setting up a church and although we only spent one night, it will likely be the most memorable part of the whole trip. It's not often you get to visit such a beautiful place and you are virtually the only tourist.

After a hot and muggy night with a power cut at Harry's Guest House and where the generator was shut off at midnight we explored the morning market where several hill tribes come to pedal there wares before we set off in a shared taxi with some locals back to the border.

At the border our driver surrendered our temporary travel documents to immigration and we retrieved our own passports before crossing back into Thailand. Being back in touristville was a mixture of relief and sadness. More photos below.

Click on map to enlarge

Tags: ..Myanmar, Burma, Kengtung.

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Chiang Mai, Mae Sai, Thailand

After bus burnout we flew 1 hour from Luang Prabang in Laos to Chiang Mai, Thailand. We arrived on a Sunday which is the biggest market day and her indoors was overwhelmed with the choice of bargains while I escaped the shopping mayhem in an internet cafe with a large beer. It's a bit too touristy here for my liking but it's not too hard to escape the minibus tours if you try.

We rented a scooter and visited the nearby attractions including an elephant sanctuary where the talented trunked ones have been trained to paint. Yes you heard right, they actually paint, play football and various other impressive tasks.

Elephant Painter!

There's also a somewhat touristy tribal village where the infamous 'long neck' women live. They never take off the metal bindings around their neck from a young age. Over time the neck elongates and if they were to take off the bindings they risk breaking the spine as the neck muscles would not be able to support weight of the head unassisted. It's all a bit bizarre as you roam around the village and you can't help thinking that at this point it's no longer about preserving the culture but more about fleecing tourists in a kind of carnival freak show.

Long Neck Women

Seven hours north of Chiang Mai is the most northerly town in Thailand called Mae Sai where we had to spend the night as we waited for the border to open and get our visas for Myanmar (Burma). Our original plan was just to hop across the border into Talichek, Myanmar for the day but after chatting with a French woman who had just spent a week in Burma we decided to head to a small town called Kengtung. It was a decision we would not regret as it is a world removed from tourists but more on that next post. More photos of Chiang Mai in the slideshow below.

Click on map to enlarge

Tags: ..Chiang Mai, Mae Sai, Thailand..

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Laos - Vientiane - Luang Prabang

I've been on my fair share of long bus rides (like this one - here) but these two back to back rides are right up there with the All Stars.

A minibus picked us up at our hotel in Hanoi at 5pm and dropped us at the bus station for our " 20 hour VIP sleeping bus" to Vientiane which eventually left 3.5 hours later. It was comfortable enough until it stopped 15 minutes later and another 10 locals were squeezed in sitting on the aisle. It's fairly common in these parts for the driver to make some extra cash by carrying passengers off the books, under the table or in this case on the floor.

We were lucky there was a toilet on the bus but to get to it you had to summon the conductor to unlock it and then tip toe around the bodies stretched out on the floor before you reached the piss puddle - yes that's right there was a good 2 inches of urine on the floor and the bus had a no shoe policy - just lovely!

We arrived at the border at 6am and waited an hour for it to open before crossing into Laos. At 5pm (24 hours after we set out) we finally arrived in Vientiane where we jumped in a pickup truck which would bring us to the centre via an ATM as nobody had local currency (Kips). After 3 ATMs refused to give money finally the fourth seemed to cooperate but then the unthinkable happened. The frikkin' machine swallowed my card and no cash came out - SHITE!!!!!!

Vientiane, Laos

I changed the last of my u$d which just enough for a room and a meal for the night. It would take another 24 hours and 3 trips (1 hour round trip) to the banks head office before I would retrieve my card and get refunded for a phantom withdrawal.

With no rest for the wicked we jumped on another 10 hour overnight bus north to Luang Prabang. Once again the locals sang the vomit national anthem all the way. I feel bad for them as I presume they are more prone to motion sickness but when we hit a bump and the over spill from a bucket landed on my ankle my tolerance level was being tested severely. A few unfortunate people who left their bags on the floor got a new coat of puke paint as the rivers of bile meandered along the floor of the bus.

Luang Prabang, Laos

Luang Prabang itself is a beautiful spot and we recovered from the puke extravaganza eventually but decided with conviction, we would fly to our next destination.

Click on map to enlarge

Tags: ..Laos - Vientiane - Luang Prabang..

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Vietnam - Ho Chi Min City - Hanoi City

From Phnom Penh we headed south and crossed the border into Vietnam where we arrived at Ho Chi Min City. HCMC is just a blur of motorbikes on the roads scattering like ants in bizarre sort of ordered chaos. I'd already spent a long weekend here back in April so I'll revert to the photos and previous post here

Ho Chi Min City

As we flew from HCMC to Hanoi in the north an unfortunate theme started to emerge. Quite a few locals were throwing up on the plane despite the smooth flight. As we jumped into a shared minibus the driver handed out puke bags for the 45 minute trip to the city centre. Sure enough, three locals serenaded us with a chorus of gut wrenching and stomach churning and dutifully filled their bags to the brim. As the waft of vomit filled the minbus another local would tag the next culprit to continue the game of puke dominoes.

The weather turned sour on us in Hanoi and threatened to cut the trip short as most of SE Asia was a wash out but after waiting a few days as the heavens poured down we took a gamble to move on to Laos. The gamble paid off but unfortunately the puke theme stuck with us a while longer. More on that cheerful topic next post.

Tags: ..Vietnam - Ho Chi Min City - Hanoi City..

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Hanoi City

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Killing Fields, Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Royal Palace, Phnom Penh

Phnom Penh is 6 hours from Siam Reap. It's a poverty stricken, polluted, congested mess. Besides the Royal Palace and Sillver Pagoda there is not much pleasing on the eyes. It looks like a huge shanty town and given the number of kids begging for money it's not far off.

A visit to the killing fields of Choeung Ek 16kms outside the city is a stark reminder of just how brutal the Khymer Rouge really were under Pol Pot. If that doesn't depress you then a visit to Tuol Sleng, a school turned it a torture and execution prison surely will.The Kymer Rouge were responsible for some 2 million deaths.

They eliminated the use of money and closed most hospitals and schools.They systematically killed educated people who they deemed dangerous and even people who wore spectacles became targets. They ruled by extreme fear and are regarded as more brutal than the Nazis.

Inexplicably, the UN allowed the Khymer Rouge to occupy the Cambodian seat at the UN General Assembly until 1991?

Tags: ..Killing Fields, Phnom Penh, Cambodia..

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Siem Reap - Angkor Wat, Cambodia

Angkor Wat, Siem Reap

Apart from the Khymer Rouge, Cambodia is probably best known for the temple ruins of Angkor Wat which is a short hop from Siam Reap. If you team up and have 4 people you can hire a large tuk tuk and driver for the day for less than u$d4 each or go solo on a bicycle for u$d2 It's very spread out so I recommend the former as the heat saps your energy even when your fat arse is being chauffered around.

Although the official currency is the Riel the u$d is the money of choice especially for tourists. Unfortunately photos (well my photos) don't do the place justice but trust me this truly is a magical place and worth the hassles of the border crossing from the previous post.

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Tags: ..Siam Reap - Angkor Wat, Cambodia..


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How to avoid the scams crossing the border from Bangkok, Thailand to Siem Reap, Cambodia

Welcome to the Kingdom of Cambodia (Got lottsa money?)


How to avoid the scams crossing the border from Bangkok, Thailand to Siam Reap, Cambodia




What are the scams?

Most involve overcharging for transport, visas, accomodation.

Who is in on the scams?

Basically everybody including the travel agent who sells you the bus ticket, the bus driver who takes the long way so you arrive tired and late, the guest house where the driver drops you that overcharges, the tuk tuk drivers that detour to an unofficial visa issuer, the official immigration guards who try to tag on extra bogus fees, the Cambodian ministry for tourism who provide a 'free' shuttle to the connecting bus which "just left" so you have to take a taxi from the border to Siam Reap, the taxi driver who drops you at a tuk tuk stand outside town where you are pushed to use their tuk tuk to explore Ankor Wat and so on.

What you should and shouldn't do.

Do not involve a third party e.g. travel agent to make any of the arrangements. Go to the northern bus station in Bangkok and buy your ticket (u$d 5) to Aranypathet on the Thai border. Take a tuk tuk (u$d 2) for a short hop to Poipet where you cross the border. If the driver does a detour (and he will) or if a tout tries to jump in your tuk tuk just say no and insist he take you directly to the border as this is a scam to overcharge you for the visa.
When you get to the border you'll likely gain a shadow. Some annoying tout trying to sell you onward travel so ignore him but accept he won't go away. First you clear Thai immigration then you have to clear Cambodian health screening and then you need to get your visa.

Despite the fact there is a big sign saying 'u$d 20 - tourist visa' the immigration official will try and charge you extra. First they wanted us to pay using Thai baht as this would bump us to the top of the queue. If we didn't have Thai Baht we could exchange u$d25 for the required amount. When we refused they weren't happy and left us waiting. Next they agreed to let us pay in u$d but in our case he said u$d 5 extra because it was a visa on arrival. When we refused we were left waiting again but now the surcharge had dropped to u$d 2. Again we refused and finally after some cold dirty looks we finally got our visa for u$d20. We met some peeps in queue who paid u$d35. It's not a lot of money but it's the principal. I don't like to be fucked over.

After clearing immigration on the Cambodian side we still had to get 200kms to Siam Reap. Our tout shadow was still lingering and had multiplied into 4 people who told us a free shuttle would take us to the nearby bus station. Sure enough a bus with 'Cambodian Ministry of Tourism' took us to the bus station where none too surprisingly we were told we had just missed the last bus and would have to get a taxi for u$d52 which was posted on a large sign. After some haggling and threatening to hail a taxi on the street this was reduced to u$d40 and since we teamed up with another couple it was just u$d10 each i.e the same price as a non AC sweaty bus. 3 hours later we were drinking beers in Siam Reap content in the knowledge we had beaten the scam-bags!

Note: the infamously bumpy nightmare dirt road between Poipet and Siam Reap is now a smooth sealed road finished in May 2009.
Tags: How to avoid the scams crossing the border from Bangkok, Thailand to Siam Reap..

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Thailand - Ko Phi Phi, Phucket, Ko Samui, Ko Tao

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Ladyboys get a discount!

After a few days in Ko Phi Phi we headed by boat directly to Phucket which was hit hard by the tsunami in 2004. It has recovered well and is much more developed than when I passed thru here way back in 1994.

Sex is the big tourist draw here although vacationing couples with kids walk the same path as 60 year old men with young Thai girls latched on to them. Scantily clad young ladies and ladyboys proposition you for a massage as you walk by dodgy looking massage parlours. It's sad but true this is the only way many of the locals make a living.

The shops and stalls start the haggle price ludicrously high and are unusually angry if they don't succeed to make a sale. After 3 days in Phucket we took a minibus to a bus to a boat in Surat Thani to reach the infamous island of Ko Samui.

After fending off taxi rip off touts at the port we had to hoof it 1km then perform a delicate balancing act of the two of us plus bags plus driver on one motorbike for 2kms to the main road where we flagged down a pickup truck to bring us to town.

Ko Tao was the next island hop on the itinerary and it's famous for diving and snorkelling. The coral is amazingly beautiful and if you took a little bread into the water you were immediately surrounded by a feeding frenzy of fish which would nip at your fingers.

From Ko Tao it was another 2 hours by fast catamaran back to the mainland to Chumphon and then 6 hours by bus to Bangkok. It's bizzare that in a city this size the majority of the budget accomodation is concentrated around 4 blocks near Banglamphu / Khao San. U$D12 will get you a clean room with AC and TV right smack in the middle of the action.

Maybe too near the action as we discovered on our last night as the thumping bass from the loud party in the bar next door was still going strong at 4am. After barely 3 hours sleep we tried to check out but the poor night porter obviously didn't get much sleep either as it took forever to wake him. Now we are headed to Cambodia and will try and avoid the numerous scams crossing the border. More on the scams later.

Tags: ..:Thailand - Ko Tao, Phucket,Ko Phi Phi, Ko Samui..


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